“You Are Brave and Kind”: Helping Your Child Get Ready for the First Day of School
Last week at the library, my six-year-old pulled The Kissing Hand off the shelf. “Look, mommy! You read this book to me before I started kindergarten last year! And then you kissed my hand so I could keep your love with me ALL DAY, remember?”
Of course I remembered. I remembered her nervous energy – and my own! – as we approached that momentous first day. When I taught elementary school, I began the year by asking the class, “Did anyone else have trouble sleeping last night?” And every year, several hands would slowly rise, followed by ripples of relieved laughter. When adults share their own emotions, and give kids space to express theirs, it reminds children that “big feelings” are absolutely normal. Everyone gets a little bit nervous before they start something new.
The first day of school is a transition, and transitions — even good ones — create stress. It takes a lot of energy to adjust to a new routine and get to know new teachers and classmates. As one veteran kindergarten teacher reminds parents: “It takes most children about six weeks to adjust to a new school year. Don’t be surprised if they are tired or emotional after school for the first few weeks. They may need a little extra patience and love.”
Here are three strategies for helping your child get ready for a new year. Keep Reading
10-Point Checklist All First-Time Homebuyers Should Follow
You’ve checked listings, scouted your favorite neighborhoods, compared market prices and even picked the perfect shade of blue for your future kitchen. It’s safe to say you’re ready to become a homeowner.
While purchasing your first home is one of the most exciting experiences you’ll ever have, it can also be extremely daunting, especially if you’re not sure where to begin. To make things easier, we’ve put together a list of steps to help you get started in the right direction.
How to Handle a Tough First Day of School
On her first day of preschool, my daughter woke up ready to go! She was joining the Owl class, and so she put on an owl shirt, helped me pack her lunch, and grabbed her blankie for nap time.
The day didn’t go as planned.
About 30 minutes after drop-off, I got a call saying she had been accidentally placed in the wrong class, so they were taking her over to the Bear class instead.
Two hours after that, I got a call asking if she had lunch. Apparently, it got lost in the shuffle of moving rooms. And when I picked her up, she wordlessly handed me her wet blanket. She had spilled her water on it just before nap time.
In these moments, I try to take a deep breath and check my own emotions first. If she had watched me, say, yell at the principal for the placement error or rush in to meet her with a panicked look on my face, it would have escalated an already tough day. What she needed was my reassuring calm that she was okay and that tomorrow would be a little easier.
Kids bring so many emotions to the first week of school: excitement and fear, wonder and worry. So when something goes wrong — from someone mispronouncing their name to not understanding the directions, from missing home to dropping their lunch on the floor — it can feel overwhelming.
Here are four ways you can help kids navigate heading back to school.
Checklist For First-Time Home Buyers
There’s plenty to look forward to as a first-time home buyer, from browsing houses online to touring prospective neighborhoods. But after the initial excitement of deciding to take the plunge, what comes next? How long will it be before you’re picking out paint colors and introducing yourself to the neighbors?
We have put together the infographic below to help you understand what to expect as you make your way from house-hunt to moving day. (You can click here if you want to jump to it right away.)
Here is the checklist for first-time home buyers in brief:
Purchasing a house is one of the biggest personal and financial decisions you’ll make, and often one of the most complicated. There are new legal terms to learn, like contingency and escrow, and people to meet, from mortgage lenders to real estate agents. Plus, there’s a seemingly never-ending series of steps to navigate. With so many parts, it’s no wonder many first-time buyers start out unsure about what lies ahead and how long it will take.
The best thing you can do is begin with a birds-eye view of the process. Understanding the basic steps will give you a sense of control from the start. Armed with your roadmap, you can relax and focus on each stage as it arrives.
You can expect the entire home buying process take several months from start to finish. The exact speed will depend on individual factors like the local housing market. Planning for a longer journey means it will be easier to stay patient throughout.
Your first step, mortgage pre-approval, can take 30 days or more, according to Credit.com. That’s when the fun begins — and the searching. The National Association of Realtors reports that it takes on average 10 weeks for buyers to find the house they’ll likely buy.
When you find “the one,” the Home Buying Institute notes negotiation with the seller can take under a week, but with the emotional stakes at play it might well feel like longer. Once an offer is agreed upon, the closing process typically takes 30 to 60 days.
Although the road ahead may seem daunting, you’re not alone. The report by the National Association of Realtors suggests that more than a third of all American home-buyers are navigating the system for the first time.
The smartest way to start your house hunt is with information. That’s why we’ve put together our “Essential checklist for first-time home buyers.” In it, we break down the stages that comprise the path to ownership, from determining how much you can afford to closing the sale. We’ve also included some extra tips and stats about the home buying process.
Think of it as a helpful resource to kick off your journey to moving day.
Are you Thirsty?
Many common illnesses and complaints might be caused by chronic unintentional dehydration. Are you drinking enough water? How much should you drink? What are the benefits?
A few weeks ago it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t been drinking very much water during these long, cold winter weeks. Hmmm, maybe that’s why I had been waking up in the morning with a dry mouth and a slight headache. This revelation led me to remember an interesting book I had previously read about the importance of drinking adequate amounts of water. Your Body's Many Cries for Water by F. Batmanghelidj, MD is a fascinating read and reveals how many of our common health problems can be solved by drink more water.
Dr Batmanghelidj, an American citizen, was born in Iran, educated in England and had his medical training and early practice in London. He was practicing medicine in Iran, however, when the revolution broke out in 1979 and he was imprisoned in the infamous Evin Prison and slated to be executed. In prison, many inmates had serious physical ailments and Dr Batmanghelidj was asked to help. Having no medical bag, no medicines, and no diagnostic tools, he was helpless to do much, but he began to prescribe two glasses of water for the prisoners with ulcer problems. Within ten minutes or so, these patients had relief from their pain and Dr Batmanghelidj told them to drink 2 glasses of water every three hours. Without any medicines these patients became free from the pain and discomforts of ulcers. During the thirty-one months Dr Batmanghelidj was imprisoned he treated more than three thousand people with water alone. He did extensive research during his prison stay about the effects of water on common degenerative illnesses and wrote about his findings. This report was smuggled out of Iran and ended up as an article in a medical journal as well as in the New York Times science section in June 1983.
Dr Batmanghelidj believed that the following traditional assumptions of the medical establishment were wrong: 1) a dry mouth signals the body’s need for water, 2) water has no chemical properties, 3) the human body is able to regulate water throughout life, and 4) any fluid will replace water. He believed that by the time we have a dry mouth, we are already dehydrated. He believed that water is a main energizer in the body, creating hydroelectric energy at the cellular level. He believed that as we age, we lose our ability to gauge our need for water. Also, he believed that our society’s huge intake of coffee, tea, and soda only amplifies the problem, as caffeine is a dehydrating agent, stressing the brain and the kidneys.
Dr. Batmanghelidj thought that the body manifests dehydration in many, many ways from fatigue to anxiety to depression to morning sickness to allergies, asthma, high cholesterol and hypertension. He believed that the pain of ulcers, heartburn, migraines, colitis, and joints was the body’s emergency call for water. He believed the major complications from dehydration resulted in diseases like MS, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, and even some forms of cancer. He contended that the medical establishment continues to treat illness with medication rather than water. He prescribes giving water a chance: you may be thirsty, not sick!
The Prescription:
Begin by realizing that the body has no water reservoir, so water must be consumed throughout the day.
Drink roughly half your body weight in ounces of water a day. (A 140-lb person should drink 70 oz of water a day.) A simple way to accomplish this is to drink 2-3 glasses as soon as you wake up when the body is most dehydrated from sleep. Then drink 2 glasses of water ½ hour before lunch and drink 2-3 glasses a few hours after a meal. Another glass towards the end of the evening and you should be close to the right amount.
Dr Batmanghelidj believed the balance of salt and water in the body was very, very important. He recommended adding ¼ tsp of unrefined sea salt to each quart of water we drink. (However, be sure to check with your doctor to make sure your sodium levels are normal and you are not prone to high blood pressure before adding additional salt to your diet, especially if you eat a lot of processed and restaurant foods which are sodium heavy.)
Try adding a little coconut water to your glass or bottle of water. It has 15 times the electrolytes of sports drinks, is low in calories, and has the potassium of two bananas per 8 ounces.
Try adding some Vitamin C to your water. 1,000 mg in a packet of Emergen-C or use unflavored, uncolored powdered vitamin C.
Getting Ready for Camp - First Time Away From Home
Separating from our child is one of the hardest things we parents have to do. We spend our time nurturing, teaching and protecting. Having to delegate that responsibility to someone else is always traumatic. But separate we must, both to give ourselves some space, but also to allow our child to develop independence and self-responsible behaviors. Camp affords opportunities for some activities not always available at home and gives us and our child a break from the daily routine of the balance of the year. Of course, we must select the appropriate age and developmental stage for our child. Some children are ready for overnight camp at a younger age than his/her peers.
Our first chore, after deciding that sleep-away camp is right for our child, is the selection of the camp. Camps come in a variety of flavors: arts and crafts, general sports, specific sports, performing arts, outdoor nature activities, boating and a little of everything. The best way to decide what type of camp to pick is to ask the child we s/he wants to do and to find out whether any of his/her friends are attending a specific camp. Keep in mind that the camp experience is for your child's enjoyment and learning, not for you to hone a particular skill in your child that you lack. The ultimate goal of a first camp experience is to foster independence and self-reliance. The more the child is involved in the selection process, the easier his/her adjustment will be.
Safety at camp is always a basic concern. Camps that are certified by a camp association (see https://camppage.com/other.html) usually have written policies and procedures in place that ensure safety. You should ascertain that the policies have been approved by a pediatrician or family practitioner with pediatric expertise. Your child should have had a complete physical examination during the year prior to attending camp. This is to assure that he has no physical or emotional issues that may impact his/her adjustment to and participation in camp activities. Fill out the camp application and health form honestly and accurately so that camp personnel have all the information needed to respond appropriately to your child's physical or emotional needs and to prevent any adverse events. He examination should include a review of the child's immunizations, in particular those for tetanus, measles, mumps, rubella, varicella, pneumococcus, hemophilus influenza type b and meningococcus. Include on the emergency contact form your 24/7 contact information (cell phone or pager, as well as home and work phone numbers).
Once the preliminaries are done, you should turn your attention to preparing your child for the out-of-home experience. You can arrange sleep-overs at a friend's house (a misnomer because children rarely sleep during these get-togethers!) and family trips away from home, even for a weekend. Children typically experience home-sickness about two weeks after the start of camp. It lasts a few days and resolves as long as a child is comforted and reassured by the camp staff. The camp personnel must prevent teasing by a child's peers, which is likely to make a child more insecure and home sick.
Your drop-off procedure should also be designed to minimize any opportunity for long, drawn-out good-byes. Say "Good-bye" at home where your child feels secure. After that, take on the role of a livery driver. The drop-off should be short and sweet. At drop-off, try to connect your child with a friend going to the same camp or offer to take the friend with you to the drop-off. Expect a few tears (on your part, as well as on the part of your child), but do not let those tears change your separation plans. If things do not go as planned and you realize that your assessment of your child's readiness is inaccurate, you can always cancel the camp attendance. You may have to negotiate a fee refund.
Once the child departs for camp, be sure to write letters and/or email. The content of the communication should dwell on the goings-on at camp, rather than what is happening at home. Citing events that the child is missing may only enhance the likelihood of home-sickness. Packages of entertainment items and food are good to send, as long as they conform with the camp's policies. Camps generally frown upon packages containing items that may attract rodents and your child would be disappointed if he offending material was confiscated. While your child is away, you should start to think about what rules and customs at home may change as a result of the camp experience. If your child becomes more independent, you will not want to undermine this new achievement by continuing restrictions that were necessary for his/her previously less mature state.
As with written communication, when the time comes for visiting day, try to concentrate on camp activities rather than on what is happening at home. Let your child be the tour guide at camp, even if you are familiar with the topography. Remember that, for your child, the nooks and crannies at camp are new discoveries. Allowing him/her to demonstrate mastery of the terrain will be a positive step toward re-enrollment next year. Give your child a ten minute warning before you have to leave, then follow the brief good-bye procedure you used at the initial camp drop-off.
At the end of camp pick-up, be sure to be on time. Being left until last will surely make your child feel stranded and abandoned. Allow sufficient time for him/her to say "Good-bye" to his/her friends and exchange contact information. Once this is done, do not dally. Hop in the car and start the conversation with all the neat things that await your child on arrival home. Always try to talk about what the child will gain, not what s/he is losing. You can always debrief the summer activities once the readjustment to home has been successfully negotiated.
Good luck with the process and enjoy your summer!
Getting Ready for Camp - First Time Away From Home
The Pediatric Group, P.A., Princeton
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This is the 59th article written in a series for Princeton Online
Separating from our child is one of the hardest things we parents have to do. We spend our time nurturing, teaching and protecting. Having to delegate that responsibility to someone else is always traumatic. But separate we must, both to give ourselves some space, but also to allow our child to develop independence and self-responsible behaviors. Camp affords opportunities for some activities not always available at home and gives us and our child a break from the daily routine of the balance of the year. Of course, we must select the appropriate age and developmental stage for our child. Some children are ready for overnight camp at a younger age than his/her peers.
Our first chore, after deciding that sleep-away camp is right for our child, is the selection of the camp. Camps come in a variety of flavors: arts and crafts, general sports, specific sports, performing arts, outdoor nature activities, boating and a little of everything. The best way to decide what type of camp to pick is to ask the child we s/he wants to do and to find out whether any of his/her friends are attending a specific camp. Keep in mind that the camp experience is for your child's enjoyment and learning, not for you to hone a particular skill in your child that you lack. The ultimate goal of a first camp experience is to foster independence and self-reliance. The more the child is involved in the selection process, the easier his/her adjustment will be.
Safety at camp is always a basic concern. Camps that are certified by a camp association (see https://camppage.com/other.html) usually have written policies and procedures in place that ensure safety. You should ascertain that the policies have been approved by a pediatrician or family practitioner with pediatric expertise. Your child should have had a complete physical examination during the year prior to attending camp. This is to assure that he has no physical or emotional issues that may impact his/her adjustment to and participation in camp activities. Fill out the camp application and health form honestly and accurately so that camp personnel have all the information needed to respond appropriately to your child's physical or emotional needs and to prevent any adverse events. He examination should include a review of the child's immunizations, in particular those for tetanus, measles, mumps, rubella, varicella, pneumococcus, hemophilus influenza type b and meningococcus. Include on the emergency contact form your 24/7 contact information (cell phone or pager, as well as home and work phone numbers).
Once the preliminaries are done, you should turn your attention to preparing your child for the out-of-home experience. You can arrange sleep-overs at a friend's house (a misnomer because children rarely sleep during these get-togethers!) and family trips away from home, even for a weekend. Children typically experience home-sickness about two weeks after the start of camp. It lasts a few days and resolves as long as a child is comforted and reassured by the camp staff. The camp personnel must prevent teasing by a child's peers, which is likely to make a child more insecure and home sick.
Your drop-off procedure should also be designed to minimize any opportunity for long, drawn-out good-byes. Say "Good-bye" at home where your child feels secure. After that, take on the role of a livery driver. The drop-off should be short and sweet. At drop-off, try to connect your child with a friend going to the same camp or offer to take the friend with you to the drop-off. Expect a few tears (on your part, as well as on the part of your child), but do not let those tears change your separation plans. If things do not go as planned and you realize that your assessment of your child's readiness is inaccurate, you can always cancel the camp attendance. You may have to negotiate a fee refund.
Once the child departs for camp, be sure to write letters and/or email. The content of the communication should dwell on the goings-on at camp, rather than what is happening at home. Citing events that the child is missing may only enhance the likelihood of home-sickness. Packages of entertainment items and food are good to send, as long as they conform with the camp's policies. Camps generally frown upon packages containing items that may attract rodents and your child would be disappointed if he offending material was confiscated. While your child is away, you should start to think about what rules and customs at home may change as a result of the camp experience. If your child becomes more independent, you will not want to undermine this new achievement by continuing restrictions that were necessary for his/her previously less mature state.
As with written communication, when the time comes for visiting day, try to concentrate on camp activities rather than on what is happening at home. Let your child be the tour guide at camp, even if you are familiar with the topography. Remember that, for your child, the nooks and crannies at camp are new discoveries. Allowing him/her to demonstrate mastery of the terrain will be a positive step toward re-enrollment next year. Give your child a ten minute warning before you have to leave, then follow the brief good-bye procedure you used at the initial camp drop-off.
At the end of camp pick-up, be sure to be on time. Being left until last will surely make your child feel stranded and abandoned. Allow sufficient time for him/her to say "Good-bye" to his/her friends and exchange contact information. Once this is done, do not dally. Hop in the car and start the conversation with all the neat things that await your child on arrival home. Always try to talk about what the child will gain, not what s/he is losing. You can always debrief the summer activities once the readjustment to home has been successfully negotiated.
Good luck with the process and enjoy your summer!
Dr. Mark B. Levin
Dr. Levin was a member of the staff at The Pediatric Group starting in 1977. He was an attending Pediatrician at the Medical Center at Princeton, Chairman, Department of Pediatrics, Medical Center at Princeton, 1984 to 1986, 1989 to 1992, and past President, Medical and Dental Staff, Medical Center at Princeton, 1987 to 1988. Dr. Levin served on numerous Departmental and hospital committees. He published original articles both while at Upstate Medical Center in Syracuse and at The Pediatric Group.Dr. Patrick-Miller
Dr. Patrick-Miller has been a member of the staff at The Pediatric Group since 1985. Dr. Patrick-Miller has served on several Departmental and hospital committees. He has published original work while at The Pediatric Group. He and his wife enjoy travel. He also likes hiking, biking, gardening and reading.
Make Sure a Newcomer Returns for a Second Ride!
By Ed Pavelka of www.RoadBikeRider.com
If you’ve been in this sport for long, you’ve probably seen it happen. An enthusiastic person shows up for his (or her) first ride with the local club. He’s a bit intimidated by the lingo he overhears, but that’s nothing compared to his anxiety about what to do and how to do it once the ride gets underway. Before long he’s trailing behind, spooked by the interplay of bike wheels and feeling as wanted as an IRS agent in a Super Bowl pool.
Do you think this guy will be back for another ride next weekend? Not likely.
It’s unfortunate, but experienced cyclists are often pretty tough on newcomers. It may be intentional because of the risks that an unskilled bike-handler creates for everyone, but more often it happens because we forget how much a novice cyclist doesn’t know. If you think about it, riding a bike isn’t all that easy.
Gero McGuffin has thought about it. She was 30 years old before she climbed onto a bike the first time, so she vividly recalls how intimidating beginning can be. Now a polished cyclist and the wife of cycling author Arnie Baker, M.D., Gero enjoys helping new riders get started in a way that ensures they’ll have a great time and come back for more.
Gero’s recommendations can be used anytime we’re riding with a newcomer. If you’re a beginning rider, these tips can help you have a more positive experience as you learn the sport.
Be Gentle
Gero’s core advice is useful when helping any new rider: “Treat them kindly, go slowly, and keep your expectations low. Give it your best shot, and you will help a person become a cyclist for the rest of their life.”
Now, here’s a digest of her specific tips.
Don’t project your own cycling goals. They are much different for an experienced rider compared to a new rider. Let the person evolve. If he’s interested only in casual cycling, let him be. If he’s interested in fast recreational riding or racing, encourage him – but explain the dangers of trying to advance too fast before developing a foundation of skills and fitness.
Take nothing for granted. Err on the side of proceeding too slowly and explaining too much. A new rider has lots of knowledge gaps.
Watch your language. If you’re saying things like “upshift one cog” or “feather the brakes,” a newcomer isn’t going to understand and may be too embarrassed to admit it.
Be polite. Even if made in jest, negative actions or comments can have a long-lasting impact.
Ask the person about his concerns. These could include fear of traffic, fear of being left behind, fear of riding close to others, fear of the saddle, and even fear of wearing form-fitting Lycra clothing. Then work with the person to resolve the specific worry.
Keep costs in perspective. Don’t make the person feel that he has to spend a lot of money to be a cyclist. Explain, however, that some things are a smart investment. For instance, if he’s in the market for a new bike, it should be the best quality he can afford. It should have a triple crankset for plenty of easy gears if there are hills in the area. He should buy a good saddle, cycling shorts with a padded liner and a helmet.
Simplify the pedals. New cyclists are often afraid of toe clips and straps or clipless pedals. It’s helpful to install platform pedals that don’t require any technique to enter or exit.
Check riding position. A newcomer will master pedaling and handling faster if he’s in a good position. Make sure there is a slight bend in his knees at the bottom of the pedal circle and that the handlebar is within an inch or so of saddle height. To really nail his position, use the guidelines in the RBR article, "How to Perfect Your Position and Technique."
Now We’re Rolling
Stay off the road. When helping a first-timer learn to ride, use a big sports field or empty parking lot. Keep traffic out of the equation. Next, try park paths or quiet residential streets.
Ride as slow as the beginner. Don’t do anything to make him go faster than his comfort level.
Watch his eyes. Remind a new cyclist that he’ll ride a smoother, straighter line if he looks 10 or more feet ahead rather than directly in front of the wheel.
Watch his grip. New riders are apt to be tense, locking their arms and squeezing the bar with white knuckles. Explain the advantages of flexed elbows and a secure but relaxed grip.
Take away a hand. After starting, stopping, and maintaining a straight line, the next skill to work on is riding with one hand. This is important so the person can signal or reach for his water bottle without swerving. Next, move on to shifting gears – how and when.
Keep it simple. Don’t overwhelm a newcomer with techniques. Let him get comfortable with the basics. As you see skill and confidence increase, add something new to work on.
Stay back. If you ride behind the person he won’t feel like he’s always trying to catch up. Let him set the pace. Don’t ride beside him until he feels confident in his basic riding ability.
Introduce drafting. Explain the advantages of riding behind a wheel, but let the newcomer keep a gap of several feet until he’s ready to move in closer.
Take a real ride. For your first ride in regular conditions, plan a course that has a fun place to stop at the halfway point. It could be a coffee shop or an ice cream parlor. This is a good chance to relax, give pointers, answer questions and provide encouragement.
Make It Good for You, Too
One problem: Too many rides like just described can take some of the fun out of cycling for you. Here is Gero’s advice for how an experienced rider can get some training while riding with a newcomer. She saw her husband use these techniques while he was helping her get started. Don’t do these things during the initial rides. Wait till the newcomer has basic skills but still lacks speed.
The stronger rider can…
stay in the same gear throughout the ride, spinning on downhills to work on leg speed and pedaling forcefully on climbs to build strength.
assist the new rider up hills with pushes (assuming traffic conditions allow and you have the skill to do this safely).
pedal with one leg at a time to benefit from the technique of isolated leg training.
sprint up the road or to the top of a hill and then ride back, or drop back and then sprint to catch up.
Way to Go!
After a ride, always congratulate the new cyclist on his progress and welcome comments. As Gero notes, “They will have questions that you can hardly imagine, because you have been cycling for so long.”
Finally, encourage the person to ride on his own between rides with you. This will give him the chance to practice skills and gain fitness with absolutely no pressure. Just make sure he doesn’t go off the deep end and turn cycling into a physical and mental chore. This can happen when enthusiasm causes a person to boost their riding too fast. Firmly recommend an increase in time or distance of about 10 percent per week, with at least two rest days.
(A portion of this material was adapted from the coaching manual for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, copyright 1999 by Arnie Baker, M.D.)
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