Change! Again..
Change can cause discomfort. Take it from one who knows. Standing still while the world around you changes, is also uncomfortable. Our desire to remain the same, an immovable force, while others around us do the changing, is rooted in our childhoods. We entertain fantasies of our families (finally) seeing us AND loving us exactly the way we are. This untenable goal (unless you married the Dalai Lama) leads to 'fake' changes intended to trick those around us into change themselves. It is the 'I will change so you will change so I can go back to being myself' strategy. It doesn't work. So, an actual desire to change for yourself alone is an accomplishment in of itself. Bravo! It means you are prepared to evolve; to adapt to your ever evolving surroundings. You must now answer the questions: what is your plan, how will you know if you have succeeded, and when will you begin?
You must have a plan for the change to become real. You need some kind of support, a specific set of steps, and a concrete time line. Make sure the support is regular and ongoing. Professional support is often best because you may feel more accountable to a paid support system. Frankly, having a personal trainer is what gets me exercising every week. However, the most important factor in achieving success is having someone who will tell you the truth. Sometime that is your best friend (and sometimes not).
In addition to a concrete time line, you obviously need a goal. Make sure it is achievable in your time line, and that not only do you feel it is achievable, but your support system feels it is achievable as well. Also, make sure your goal is not emotionally based. So better to choose 'lose 10 pounds' as opposed to 'feel good about myself' or 'stop blaming' as opposed to 'improve my relationship'. You need to allow yourself to feel whatever you feel in the process. Choosing an emotional state as an end goal is a guaranteed land mine.
Lastly THERE IS NEVER A GOOD TIME TO CHANGE! I will give one exception, and that is when timing is strategic. Most of the time we delay only to postpone discomfort. Today would have been a great day to begin, if you had picked the date a month ago. So ask yourself if you are committed to your change. If the answer is yes, then begin now.
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