PHHH #1225.9
Date: October 19, 2008
Place: Van Horn Park, Hamilton
Weather: Not quite nipply
Hare: Speedbumps
Hounds: Max the Worried Dog, Pyroman, Not Suitable for Horses,
Itemized Seduction, Cliffdiver, Hey YO! Paully, Weepie, Big Nut
Time: 1:30

Description, Polemics, and Lies:

Koyaanishashi (Navajo for Hash out of Balance)

Bumps tried, she really did. Humiliate me into setting more often,
will they, she thought. It's a good thing I only set every five
years so the newbies can see what a mistake it is to goad me. Maybe
this time they won't ask me again.

Fat chance. Sure, she sent us on half a mile of stultifying pavement
in the parking lot adjoining the world's longest elementary school
before taking it on herself to lead the pack (which had devolved into
Pyro and Ouipee) through two miles of trackless, Level 7, tick-
injected shaggy that even deer dared not trespass. Itemized
expressed what is becoming a trademark bellow at such habitual
Princeton abuse of the Droit du Lapin, forcing Cliffie to stand by
her side, and her little dog too, until the leaders of the pack
engaged them in a call-and-response routine for half an hour that
would have done any AME church proud and made the pack whole again.

Except for Paully, who took a page from his wife Juicy's hashing
playbook, stuck to the roads and Amtrak line in a long cut that made
him first to the clutchless Pyrovan and colorful cans of microbrew
within. Big Nut, who had yet to explain his three-and-a-half-year
hiatus (www.princetonol.com/groups/phhh/archive/1023.9.txt) or
provide the 2009 cheesecake calendar from his chemistry company, made
the smart move in following Paully and the wrong move in plunging
into the wrong woods minutes later, never to be seen again.

But I digress. We liked this hash: the cute and indeterminate Burger
King toy animal and single die left inside the first check, the
Wachspress double cross through the steel ribs of the future strip
mall, the way the shaggy made our grandmaster bleed just like our old
grandmaster, and the general fellowship of the pack, confident we
were never more than a kilometer from the start as the sun began to
set. And don't take my word for it: ask the dogs, who also had fun
at the on-in, Max leaping for Bumps's wonderful pumpkin-nut bread and
cheesy poofs, and Not Suitable hoping to pinch a loaf when mistress
wasn't looking.

Sorry, Bumps, shittier hash next time!

Next up:

PHHH #1226.9, October 26: We need a Hare!

PHHH #1227.9, November 2: Weepee's Bare All Souls Day Hash: Dress to
impress but costumes and clothing optional as long as you look deep!