PHHH #1201.9

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Venue: Grover's Mill et environs

Weather: Teeming

Time: 35 minutes to infinity

Hare: WeeeaPiiii

Hounds: Hey Yo! Paully, Delicate Psyche, PyroMan, SpeedBumps, 
Max the Formerly Worried Dog, Hand Solo


MARKOV CHAINS

If Geezer had been a Math/Stat prof instead of an Orgomeister, the lecture would have been thusly:

"OK, you Wankers, wake up and pay attention."

"Last week we proved the Hajek-Renyi Inequality for One Maximum of Partial Sums, and you were 
assigned to prove that a p-smoothable Banach space can be characterized in terms of the 
Hajek-Renyi inequality for Banach space valued martingales."

"Delicate! Put down that Shiner Bock and expound for the class."

"Well, I didn't have a whole lotta time to research this . . .", stammered DP
 
"Miserable. What did you get up to all weekend dammit!" 

"Well, I took part in a field study of a Markov Chain-based process called hashing",
said DP getting more animated by the moment.

"Hmmm.  Was it a Monte Carlo simulation?"

"No, it was the real thing. The initial Markov state is called the START and the intermediate 
states are checkmarks. From a checkmark there are Reflecting States called False Trails".

By this time the entire class was hanging on DP's every word.

"I built a transition matrix capturing the probability of going from state A to state B and then
transposed the matrix, found the eigenvalues and identified the singularities".

"Impressive", said Geezer.

"There are two absorbing states called ON-IN and SCREWED respectively. The field study showed
that the probablity of a human acheiving the former state was 0.60 and the latter state 0.40."

"I love it when he talks about p-values", said the new girl. What's her name? Wendy Breaker or something.

"Canines seem to do much better, acheiving ON-IN with empirical probablity of 1.00 and having a lot more
fun along the way".

"Very good, Delicate. You were paying attnetion after all".

"Before next week you all need to study Chapter Five of Hilbert's Nullstellensatz Commutative Algebras of 
Finite Type.  There will be a test".



Next Up:

#1202.9 2:00 PM Sun May 25 EuroTrash sets Trail will be in Allentown, NJ, 
                           right off exit 7 on Rte. 195 (or vicinity).
#1203.9 11:00AM Sun June 1 Reunions Hash WiPi sets
#1204.9 5:00 PM Sun June 8 HIMZ sets
#1205.9 5:00 PM Sun June 15 Queef sets
#1206.9 5:00 PM Sun June 22 HYP sets
#1207.9 5:00 PM Sun June 29 DP sets
#1208.9 5:00 PM Sun July 6 Solo sets