End-of-Year Review 2001 The Year of Living Dangerously Why dangerous? Set with flour in the Year of New Jersey Anthrax? Sure, no problem. Run past the domicile of last year's anti-hasher of the century? Why not - who's afraid of them dogs anyway? Run in the shadow of the Nuclear football? Shouldn't be difficult, just follow the radioactive Duck. First, a little history and some statistics: Hash #1, October 7, 1979. The legendary Joe Burns sets a loop starting from Stevenson Hall, 91 Prospect. Hash #100, September 13, 1986. The Geezer and Wacko set through the campus, the grad school, Marquand Park, and the Institute. Hash #200, May 13, 1990. Dogshrinker and Wacko set in the rainforest-like Pine Barrens. Hash #300.4, November 17, 1991. The LRF and Throatwarbler Mangrove set a Simple Tour of Princeton in deference to 15 simian visitors from Reading. Hash #400.4, March 7, 1993. The Geezer sets from Rosedale Park to Terhune's Orchard. Hash #500.4, May 5, 1995. The LRF sets in the pouring rain through Microdot Weinstein's freshly plowed field of dreams to the boulders on Province Line Road. Joe Burns and Dr. No return. Apres at Good Friends courtesy of Hash Cash. Hash #600.4, March 29, 1997. Pyroman sets somewhere south of Trenton. A notable attendee was A Joy to his Mother's Mother. Pyro kept the pack on the trail by providing beer one can at a time, but only on the trail. No shortcutting bastards on this one. There was a dog sawn in half. Hash #700.4, February 14, 1999, coincident with Hard Core VII, our Annual G hash, and some massacree or other. In Up To His Waste planned and spent, and the Grande Dominatrix herself set. The result, a long, oh so soft core run through deepest Bucknekkid County. Even Rambo finished. Hash #800.4, November 19, 2000. WeePee tempts fate as he cruises the Nuclear Football. There was clemency from Clem as our old nemesis no-showed. Maybe he knew what was coming. *** 2001: We just missed the record we set in '99 for number of hashes, but kept up our four-year record of running more than once a week. 2001 54 2000 55 1999 56 1998 54 There were 12 new people who ran more than one hash, and the average pack size was 12.1, down from 18 last year. The sum of all hashes run (no one- timers counted) is now 8657 (8045 at the end of '00, and 7104 at the end of '99). *** The Get a Life Award goes to Hey Yo! Paully! who ran 47 hashes. Weepee finished second, wasting 40 Sundays and Wednesday evenings: perhaps a total of 100 hours of daylight, 10 of twilight, and 25 of mortal darkness. Discomfort ran 35 in a partial year and Rojo did 34, Wacko 30. The Geezer "ran" 29, as did Juicy. You don't make the Idiot list with fewer than 25. WeePee and Pyroman set the most, each inflicting six upon us. The Geezer set five, or did he set the same one five times in Rosedale Park? But #855.4 was not even close to Rosedale -- maybe that's where the marks were? Wacko, Solo, and Hey Yo! Paully did four each. *** First Hash: January 7, 2001, #807.4. "The Least Exciting Hash of the Year, So Far" Pyroman sets a through the Hamilton RR Station and environs. Last Hash: December 30, 2001, Solo sets through an Endless Site of Construction, deconstructing almost the entire pack *** Best Hash of the Year: Nonsensei's #853.4 for attracting the LRF for his only appearance this year and retaining his presence at the on-in, crossing Jasna Polana without attracting attention, rediscovering terrain not used in 10 years, and losing HYP entirely. *** Worst Hash of the Year: No contest this year. This category is usually hotly contested, but what can you do when Spanking Ryan's Privates obliterates Son of Geezer's ancient record for the shortest hash by more than a factor of two? Nothing, is the answer to that rhetorical query, just give the prize for #835.4, a 3 minute, 45 second set in Mercer County Park. Runners up: Geezer's no-mark special, #855.4, What Was That Strange White Powder, Lone Ranger? Chapter 4. Discomfort's astonishingly incompetent #819.4 - there was no beer and she really gave up her marks in Bucks County, even before the anthrax scare, and then talked herself into telling HYP to get out of her car on driving back to the start for fear the police would arrest her for having two passengers in one front seat. *** Best Venue: A three-way tie between: #830.4 ("Best Wednesday Hash of the Year, So Far") by Pyroman. I quote from the writeup: Most of the pack bushwhacked their way through 12 foot high reeds, walls of green vegetation, and shoe sucking quicksand and after a one hour march found themselves back at the RR tracks with a 1/4 mile jaunt back to the cars. Pyroman wallowed in the glory of having brought Pumpkin Pie to tears. #854.4, What Was That Strange White Powder, Lone Ranger? Chapter 3, in which Rambo not only set a Hash that worked (though he never could have finished it himself), but braved the domain of Richard Pashtun. and #859.4, Atomic Duck's Tour of the Nuclear Football, oddly titled A Hash Carol. *** Worst Venue: Nothing will ever replace the Louisiana Reptile Fancier's #327.4, "The Warehouses at the End of Time." But there were some bad ones this year. Pyroman's #840.4 among the hoods of Trenton should be remembered, as should SPR's 3:45 special, #835.4. Yet, until there is something sufficiently vile to rival that terminal wasteland of the LRF's we can give no real award. *** Best Events: There were no good events this year. *** Worst Event: The mile-long cornfield run on Natural Born Lesbian and Spaghetti-Boy-R-D's #849.4 is a sure contender. Runner up: the dog packs on Rambo's #854.4. *** Best Write-up: #812.4 "The Defiant Hares" wasn't too bad. WeePee likes his own #822.4, but I don't really know if I like Kipling, as I have never Kipled. Runners up: #842.4 on Discomfort's Long Goodbye; #843.4's Standard Hash Inquiry Test; and #855.4-56.4, Another Tale from the Belle Meade Inn, was a stirring old school composition with heartening continuity *** Worst Write-up: This writeup Missing. *** Weirdest Objects of the Year. On the very first hash we traversed a field filled with 100,000 broken toilets covered in snow. Thanks, Pyroman, for #807.4. . *** Rookie of the Year: No doubt about it, Atomic Duck wins in a walk-away. Not only did he waddle 11 of a possible 13, but he entertained us all with daily musing on the well-being of our web-footed fellow creatures. Honourable mention to Spaghetti-Boy-R-D, Spanking Ryan's Privates. and Holding Out. *** Name of the Year: Oldest Hashing Fetus. Suggested but not used, on #824.4, The Wacko Trap. Pity, because it really sings. ***