PHHH #982.9 

Date: Sunday, April 4, 2004 

Place: Princeton Observatory to Grad Housing 

Weather: Wind Alert 

Time: 80 minutes 

Hare: Jan 

Hounds: Pyroman, Speedbumps, Hand Solo, Weepee, Hey YO! Paully, Bjorn Dork, Geezer, 
Alan/Premature Graduation, Karin, Safety Tits, Tim Edmonds, Jimmy Ruckfutgers, 
Lawrenceville Mike, Caleb Howe 

Picked up and dropped off, without car talk, en route: Scott Sher-something 


Marsh Madness 

Oberhauptstuppenfuhrer Jan swaggered, stick in hand, before the bedraggled pack outside 
the Observatory, resplendent in his shiny black leather tracksuit. 
    "So.  You think you've all seen all there is to see in Princeton when it comes to 
hashing, ja?" 
Geezer yawned.  Safety Tits belched.  Pyroman picked his nose with his pinkie.  Dork 
raised his hand. 
    "I don't know everything about this terrain, but when Captain Lame-O and I set trail 
in that swamp. . ." he began in his earnest half-twang. 
    "Silence!  I will not have hochschule girly-man graduates affect such airs.  All I 
will say is this--" 
    "That's it?" Paully asked. 
    "Was is 'it'?" 
    "'This' is it." 
    "It is not.  It is just starting." 
    "But all you were going to say is 'this'." 
    "Enough mindless prattle!  On on, and beware of snapping turtles." 
    And so the pack set off with teutonic vigor and cattle-like devotion to the marked, 
mostly shiggy-less trail, quickly losing Premature Graduation and his petite companion, 
who was not hot to trot; Hand Solo; Bumps; Pyro; and finally Geezer, but not before the 
very game jogger Scott jumped in and promptly did a knee plant on some of the PU debris 
off Alexander Road by the new grad housing.  Geezer also stuck around to defuse the IED 
disguised by local Shiites as a 2-baby propane pram on the Mekong Trail next to the 
driving range. 
    In retrospect it's still remarkable that the law of the hash still applies.  No one 
shortcutted to Jan's digs to get at the chococate hazelnut cookies that sparked fond 
memories of the cookies of Uranus, and only the surviving veterans  recalled, however 
dimly, that following a trail off the towpath into the swamp between Alexander and the 
Dinkie line would lead to the lake, and it was therefore better to detour and pick up 
on the other side.  Ouipee and Paully found Jan's well-marked balcony without needless 
dampness, the various goodies stored thereon, and there admired the hare's ON IN with 
arrow pointing right at them from the far shore. 
    But Darwin was wrong, Darwin is wrong, and Darwin will always be wrong, as long as 
there are gormless undergrads and de facto, if not de jure grads to plunge on on, on in 
up to their waists, chests, and necks.  Here we see Safety Tits, Dork, and Caleb shortly 
before the Red Zone sniper took out the point--no, sorry, wrong write-up. Actually they 
all crossed safely, making the PHHH-pioneering discovery that much of the way is fordable, 
while the other 60% raises disturbing questions about the developing oxbow on what used 
to be the Stony Brook. 

Next up: Hand tries to stop us from breaking his 2:15 DNF the week before.