PHHH #971.9 Date: Sunday January 18, 2004 Weather: Woman's Snow Venue: 87 Prospect Time: who knows? Hare: Mr. E Hounds: Safe Sweats, HYP, Weepee, Hand Solo, Jimmy Ruckfutgers Old Testament Insults The perpetrator of this debacle was a mystery until the trail circled around and aimed for 39 Humbolt. At that point Weepee's perfidy became clear. Safe Sweats and Solo, separated from the main pack were scratching around 206 looking for marks when the Theological Seminary Women's track team flashed by doing 5:30 miles. "We can do that", cried the hapless pair and tucked in behind the swinging pony tails. "No you can't" yelled the women in chorus (stating an obvious truth). To make matters worse they proceeded to hurl Old Testament insults in our direction, as we rapidly fell off the back of their pack: O that thou wouldest accidentally insult Goliath, O ye of little faith! Harken, thou Amalekite dogs, for you will see your pomegranates wither! May you be swallowed by a whale with excessively bad breath, O thou lazy Babylonians! We hope you will be plagued with gnats, flies and locusts, O ye breaker of the commandments! Listen, O thou lazy Babylonians, for you will be mocked by eunuchs! Harken, O ye denizens of the underworld, for you will fall under a speeding chariot! Thou shalt go on a diet of crunchy, unsweetened locusts, thou dabbler in abominations! Listen, O thou relatives of Herod, for you will have more mother-in-laws than King Solomon! Behold, thou shalt be trampled by a herd of stampeding pigs, O thou Mesopotomian harlots! Listen, O thou babbling Assyrians, for you will beget difficult teenagers! We pray thou shalt be whipped with a thousand scorpions, O ye discouragers of the brethren! And this insult clearly intended for our Mystery Hare: Thou shalt be whipped with a thousand scorpions, O ye exceedingly foolish virgin! Next Hashes: #972.9, Sunday, January 25, 2 pm 87 Prospect, ??? sets #973.9, Sunday, February 1, 2 pm 87 Prospect, ??? sets #974.9, Sunday, February 8, 2 pm 87 Prospect, ??? sets #975.9, Sunday, February 15, 2 pm 87 Prospect, ??? sets #976.9, Sunday, February 22, 2 pm 87 Prospect, ??? sets