STEVENSON HALL HHH HASH #97 Date: June 8, 1986 Weather: 90's, humid Set by: Andy Kaufman Runners: Stu Sharp, Bob Pascal, MJ, MJ,III, Ned Jackson, Evy Parker, Dan Wachspress, Dave Effross, Matt Saal, Sid Kahn, Jim Gibson, Ned Cornman, Don Miller, Matt Baker, Jerome Mertz "First to Cooler" Joe Burns, Gibson... Description, comments: There were quite a few grey-green faces at the start of this post reunions hash. Cornman in particular spent a lot of time clutching his belly and groaning, and Miller didn't look too great either. Both of these soon-to-be loyal alumni of old PU were getting into practice for Alumni Activities by missing Bilbo Boween's Prezidential address in favor of dragging their hangovers all over Mercer County. It was good to see them get their priorities straight right at the start. Speaking of starts, as someone later remarked, "the start was fucked up, even for a hash." Kaufman lost us all on the way out, as he drove away into the sunshine, leaving us parked at the red lights of West Windsor wondering what the hell. When Andy was unable to find the beginning only a couple of hours after he set it, we realized that he was suffering heat stroke and it began to dawn on us all (except for Cornman who was curled up and whimpering in the back of Effross' excuse for a car) that we were in for a tough time on this hash in the desert sun. Andy finally blundered onto a mark, defined it as the start and the pack was off and feeling bad. Through construction and across backyards the sadistic Kaufman led us as cries of "ON ON" were mixed with "get off my lawn you schmucks!" Wachspress disappeared. Cornman revived. Mertz was silent. Through fields of daisies the group ran, oblivious and sweating. Finally we ran into woods as several large mysterious buildings were circumnavigated. What are these places? One runs through the woods and suddenly there is a 50 million square foot pile of bricks organized into an empty building. What are they for? What do they do? Are they evidence of extraterrestrial visitors? Could they be placed there just to provide convenient obstacles for Kaufman hashes? Baker vanished. Wachspress reappeared. Kaufman next indulged his train track fetish as the pack found the NY-Philly Amtrak line and headed north. On and on we ran but were mercifully not treated to a repeat of the Joe Burns-fete fiasco (see #89). Poison Evy vaporized. Mertz was silent as the grave. Off the traks, on the traks, we zigged and zagged, finally reaching the Princeton Junction station, the obvious end point. But it was not to be the end, except perhaps for the geezer who was clearly quite close to his end. Mertz was silent as the tomb and then disappeared. If minds had been more clear it might have struck the group that many of them had joined the ranks of the disappeared, and that the source of the trouble was probably the extraterrestrials in those strange buildings. But they were too far gone for careful and rational thinking at this point. Off the traks again into a pine woods where we wandered about in and out of the trees until Gibson found the beer behind a nondescript building on the Princeton- Princeton Junktion Road. Stu Sharp heard the "ON IN" and headed directly for the sound. Unfortunately there was an intervening swamp and he was too far gone to think of going around it. The swamp turned out to be several feet deep. In went Sharp to emerge dripping slime and covered with all sorts of creatures too loathsome to mention. Will he last until he sets next week's hash? Let's hope so. I guess. Next Hashes #98 Sunday, June 15, 3:30 pm. Sharp sets his first if he survives-note summer time. This hash will end in a cookout at the geezer's. Ossifer Obie and Ray the guard have been invited, and Dan promises to bring his dogs. If you feel like bringing some burgers feel free to do so. Jackson's bringing 10 kilos of tofu to roast on the grill. #99 Sunday, June 22, 3:30 pm. Wachspress sets. #101 Sunday, June 29, 3:30 pm Pascal sets, get in shape.