STEVENSON HALL HHH HASH #  91


Date: April 27, 1986 

Weather: sun, 70 

Set by: Cuban Assassin 

Runners:  MJ, III, Paul Dietrich, Bob Pascal, Evy Parker, Andy Kaufman, Matt Tarlach, 
Ned Jackson, Dan Wachspress, Matt Baker, Jerome Mertz, Dave Effross

"Order of Finish"  Joe Burns,  Kaufman, Jackson, Effross......   

Description, comments: Here was the obligatory spring flower power  cross town 
hash. The start was at the All Saints Church sign on Terhune-Van Dijk road. The pack 
was joined by a Saint or two happy to escape into this beautiful spring day and definitely 
looking for trouble.  Off they ran with their ghostly guests past the "On On" to Snowden, 
up Snowden to the entrance to Herrontown Woods.  Only a modicum of hashing sense 
was necessary to  tell that the trail could scarcely avoid such an attraction.  Yet Ned 
"where's the" Jaaxon fell immediately into a Pascal trap that led him all the way to 
Herrontown Road.  As we shall see this benighted behavior was not at all atypical for 
Jaxxon on this balmy Sunday. Perhaps the Saints were already at work.  The pack 
traversed the Woods and emerged in two sections at the gas pipe line.  The trail then 
ran straight along the pipeline, crossing Herrontown Road and entering a long loop 
through the swamps and woods back to the road only 100 yards or so from the pipeline.   
The spring air, the narcotic scent of the violets, spring beauties and trout lillies carpeting 
the woods floor must have been overwhelming because for unexplained reasons 
hashers began to dissappear.  One by one they peeled off the trail on assorted fool's 
errands leaving only Effross, Pascal, Mertz, Baker, Dietrich and Tarlach actually 
following the assassin's marks.  First we lost Mait and Wachspress who on finding the 
pipeline took off in the opposite direction and were not seen again until the end.  Next it 
was Jaxoon leaping into the woods, making as it turned out, a brilliant shortcut. 
However, as we all know, SCB's always get theirs and  Jakkson, MJ, III and Dan  were 
soon to be the victims of the etherial wrath of the hovering Saints. Finally, Andy and Evy 
eschewed the Baker trap and shortcut the loop by heading directly along Herrontown 
Road to the marks.  



          Meanwhile, back in the bogs of Jack-in-the pulpits and skunk cabbage, the pack, 
toiling simple mindedly in the hashing trenches, was cruising over the assassin's false 
trails.  Out to Herrontown Road they came at last to find the assorted SCB's all long 
gone to their disparate fates.  Nor were their trials over and it was Baker upon whom the 
malevolence of the hovering Saints was most visited.  Up a dirt road Baker went 
checking out a false trail.  Out his window looked the villian of the day who recognised 
Baker for the obvious terrorist he is.  Have you ever noticed that Libyan look about him?  
Reaching for the hot line to the White House but finding the Prez asleep, this patriot 
naturally released his attack dog Phang.  Over a fence soared the canine missile and 
Phang's fangs found poor Muammar Baker's tender flesh. Of course this made it a 
suicide mission for poor Phang.  Baker retreated from the still writhing body of the noble 
beast to jeers and cries of "private property." Off he limped towards Rt. 206
          Mertz, no doubt hoping to share Baker's fate, turned right at a "dogs ahead" sign 
and disappeared down the grassy extension of Herrontown Road (see #78).  Baker, 
Mait, Ned, Evy, Dan and Andy were already gone.  Would anyone be left to follow the 
trail?  Along Poor Farm Road went the depleted pack, finally emerging on Mt. Lucas 
Road about 20 feet from the invisible beer.  But a long loop lay ahead which led them 
up a steep hill,  across an empty lot (many thanks to the anonymous owner who gave 
permission to cross)  into a deep ravine and back to a point just below the corner of Mt. 
Lucas and Poor Farm.  Kaufman struggled in first ( actually just after Joe Burns) followed 
by most of the others. It was only then, sitting around the beer that the sad fates of 
Baker and the rest became clear. Mait and Dan had cut back towards the route to 
happen upon the "F" at the end of a false trail.  Thus they had cut off 60% of the hash.  
But there was no way to know which way the trail ran.  Dan guessed wrong and ran it 
backwards, Mait guessed right (perhaps those genes are working after all), ran the 
correct trail, crossed the ravine and was 20 feet from the end when the Saints went to 
work again.  He met Jaksson who had found marks in the ravine and was running them 
backwards.  Rather than persevere, Mait for some unaccountable reason joined Ned in 
his folly and ran backwards to oblivion.

Next Hashes:
#92  Sunday, May 4, 2:00 pm Stevenson 91--Weinstein/Moore set 
#93 Saturday, May 10, 2:00 pm Stevenson 91--Tarlach/Courtney set
#100  Saturday/Sunday September 13/14