Date: October 6, 2002 
Weather: dayzed and confuzed 
Venue: Thomas Grove Middle School to Mercer County Park 
Hare: Weatherman 
Time: Geezer, how long was it, anyway? 
Hashers: Hand Solo, Wipiy, Geezer, Hey YO! Paully, TJ Pray, Brian, Justin, Jessica, Dave, 
Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!, Nuttin' Stuck 
Virgins: Watzernaim Colorme Elmogreen and some guy wearing real pants 
Descriptions, Polemics, and Lies: 

A Beautiful Half Mind 

Gentle autumnal sunlight filtered through the blinds as Princeton's finest mathematician 
stared fixedly at the scrawl of figures and numbers on the white board.  His mind teamed with 
possible solutions to the Kapronov modulus space.  Surely there was a simpler approach.  He 
scribbled some more arcane symbols. 




 ...  imagine arcane symbols, or go look at the PDF file if you care enough ...




"So, professor, V = vertice, and E = edges. . . It is quite clever.  In one month you have 
put all the parameters in place.  Now then, shall we try a number?" 
"Yes, Andrei.  How about . . . 3?" 
More feverish writing ensued: 
"Dermo," his Russian colleague observed.  "There's no medal in that.  Hard luck, Rahul.  
Well, I'm off to lunch.  Same time next week?" 
"Yes, perhaps . . . perhaps with an even number this time." 
The door closed, the sun's rays flashed, and . . . 
Weatherman blinked.  He was standing in the middle of a dessicated soybean field with a bag 
of flour and bleeding legs.  What had happened to the white board? 
"BOOORRRING!" roared a familiar voice.  Why, why, it's Geezer! 
"Weatherman, good to see you're back with another shitty hash.  About time we got off the 
dull suburban roads." 
"Where am I?  Who are these people?"  Weatherman gestured toward a stream of young people 
coming through the soy, crying "On On" with great enthusiasm. 
"Why, they're this year's crop of morons!  Get with it, boy, you've got a set to finish!" 
The hare gathered himself and set a trail to the Park, where they followed narrow, winding 
trails and crossed brushy forest floors before arriving at a secluded glen full of decent 
beer and 3 kinds of potato chips.  A down-down was sung to Jessica, now Brain Injury 
Volunteer, who gracefully poured the rest of the bag o' beer over her head.  It was all 
too much for Weatherman, so different from the comfortable offices looking over the West 
Windsor fields, "fields! Fields! FIELDS!" 
"Get the doctor!  He needs sedation!" 
Rahul thrashed on the floor before the white board, still clutching the bag of flour.  
Members of the Math Department struggled to hold down his flailing limbs as the EMT swabbed 
his hip for the hypodermic.  Andrei looked down on his colleague sympathetically. 
"Tovarisch, you've been working too hard.  This Geezer, these hashers, they're figments of 
your overheated imagination.  The Fields medal, don't worry, we'll get it next year." 

Next hash: T. J. Pray and Dave's Not Home set the Orphans' Crusade Hash through Parents 
Weekend festivities.  Bring your own alms box!