PRINCETON HHH HASH #879.5 

(Hand Solo, trying to make amends for permanently scarring the legs of our 
Tokyo visitor Edamame, has apparently taken it upon himself to assign Nonsensei's hash 
an extra tenth of a point.)


Date: May 5, 2002

Hare: Pyroman and his moll, Speedbumps

Location: Port Mercer D&R Canal parking lot to Rt. 1 D&R Canal parking lot

Weather: No Juice, Just Jello

Time: 60+ minutes, not including margarita Jello-shot check

Hounds: Wacko, Weepea, Llloda, Ouipea's Binky, Hey YO! Paully. 

Guest Hounds: Grab Bag, (Grab Bag HHH, Allentown PA); 12-Foot Max, 
Not Enough Dick (both of Pine Lake, Atlanta, HHH); Discomfort (Oxford and High Bridge 
Aitch-Aitch-Aitches [bless you])

Virgin: Benjamin the Wonder Dachshund (named Stick Shift)

Car seen at the start: Juicy's



            Sinko in Mayo y Jello; or, the Hund of the Mercervilles

Truly the best Cinco de Mayo hash of 2002, as Pyro sent the overeducated wankers of 
Princeton into the swamps and woods parallel to the towpath until they emerged at the 
other end, wetter, muddier, bloodier, and probably poison ivier than when they started 
a mile and a half up the path.  To be sure, this terrain has been used of late by 
Nonsensei (823.4) and Holding Out and Dummer (858.4) and more distantly in reverse by 
the long-absent Tropical Depression (768.4 in reverse--a tip o' the hat for this reference 
to Wacko, who nearly fell asleep while staggering blankly to the On-in), but it hadn't 
been this damp in a dog's age.

In a first for the PHHH, the guests outnumbered the hosts.  That is, until HYP staggered 
to the on-in after biking to Kingston on the towpath from Port Mercer in a futile search 
for Juicy and the Margarita Jello shots that Pyro thoughtfully withdrew from the trail.  
Paully then ran the new bike and its flat tire back to Port Mercer, whence he followed the 
tracks of the Hounds and the Hund to the on-in.

For in another first, the smallest four--five, really--legged hasher in PHHH history 
enjoyed a rookie debut perhaps unparallelled in the annals of the Princeton Hash.  
Virgin Benjy the Wonder Dachshund opened by making like an airboat across the Princeton's 
Okeefenokee Swamp from the start, demonstrating that dachshunds have nothing on hashers 
in the moron quotient, for only Binky had the halfwit to stumble on the marks at the 
other side of the brackish glade without getting his feet wet.  Stickshift further 
excelled in the steeplechasing and swampcrawling sections, trotting happily through, 
under, and over the rest of the slime and fallen timbers that highlight this route.  
The tiny canine's Jello shotsucking talents proved his undoing at the Jello shotcheck, 
however, and Weapea tucked him under a recently cleaned armpit for the jaunt across the 
the freshly plowed field by the Dotbomb field of broken dreams.

The hearty and extended on-in featured much merriment, disinterested fishermen, friendly 
exchanges of opposing perspectives on leading issues and movies of the day, two excellent 
homemade salsas, more Jello shots, Margarita KoolAid, more drink than food, and down-downs 
and songs for each of the visitors.  Nonsensei has her work cut out for her if she wants 
to retain her title for Best Hash. . . .

PHHH #880.4: Sunday, May 12: Discomfort is repatriated as Comfort (Food) by her 
Oxford/High Bridge drinking buddies and sets in a park accessible only through private 
property.  Her future son-in-law, Neil "Fight Club" Shenvi, is caught by man-eating Shih 
Tzus.
THIS JUST IN: Discomfort has had a change-of-heart about Mr. Shenvi and can't set this 
weekend.  WHO'S UP?

PHHH #881.4: Sunday, May 19, Binky sets just enough to fulfill graduation requirements 
and sends us through the Baccalaureate.