STEVENSON HALL HHH HASH #87 Date: 3/30/86 Weather: 80 , sun Set by: Miller, Cornman Runners: Craig Courtney, Bob Pascal, Dan Wachspress,Joe Burns, Moy Burns, Ned Jackson, Evy Parker, MJ, Jim Gibson late of the UVa Hash, Andy Kaufman, Ed Hirsch, Dave Effross, Matt Baker and Rookies Nancy Jones and Sue Safford. "First to Cooler" Kaufman Description, comments: A sunny Easter Sunday brought out some new blood to join the usual group of world-weary veteran hashers for the first hash set by Miller and Cornman. There were those in the group expecting the usual errors- -too long or too short--no false trails, obscure marks, long straights . But these cynics were wrong for once and it was a hash of good terrain, decent length and good marks. The start was on Province Line Road just above the bridge that served as the end of Hash #80. Down the hill went the pack, justifiably suspicious of a downhill opening and already reluctant to give up the high ground they knew they would have to regain. Over the bridge and up the hill to the construction entrance, Wachspress eagerly seeking the "slime ahead" sign that had led him so far astray in Hash #80. It wasn't there , but marks were and into the construction we went to become immediately lost. Eventually the path up the hill was found and the pack ran through a series of backyards and driveways, encountering the schmuck of the week, a bearded bozo with a rake. "It's private property, you know; how would you like it if I ran down your driveway?" As usual the geezer was unable to resist confrontation and replied that it would be just fine. This enraged the stalwart householder who seemed about to lay into the poor winded old guy with his rake. Happily, Joe Burns showed up, calmed him down and probably saved him from having his giblets torn out by the reviving geezer. Down a road we went to complete a loop just uphill from the entrance to the construction. A good check here, with the pack wandering around in shock and Pascal reliving the Great Pascal Trap of Hash #80. He dragged poor Gibson with him on this ill-fated venture which not only found no marks at all for a good mile of running, but acquired one of the most scruffy dogs ever seen on the Princeton Hash. This creature, apparently some kind of giant mutant beagle, perhaps with a trace of wolverine in him, followed the pack for the better part of the remainder of the run, only disappearing when it became clear that Wachspress wasn't interested. Along the banks of the stream we went, zigging and zagging over the stream and adjacent woods. At about the halfway mark the cooler appeared across the stream and the geezer, winded and staggering thrashed across the water hoping against hope that this obvious hoax would deliver him from further running. No chance. Indeed , so deep was his despair at the empty cooler (not even one beer), that he didn't read the directions inside and began to wander aimlessly about, deep into beer debt. Baker resolved the situation, found the directions and sent the pack on the right path up the hill. Baker himself, however, let it go to his head and decided that he had the whole thing psyched out. Naturally he disappeared, not to be seen again until we arrived back at Stevenson Hall. Can it be that Baker, once revered for his ability to recover from impossibly long wrong-cuts, has lost a few steps, and his wits along with them? Pascal and Wachspress led the pack along the stream until, emerging onto the shingle, there was Kaufman running along the wrong side of the river, with no marks, suddenly (and silently) coming on to the trail. Was this an instinctive brilliant maneuver crafted by the aging Kaufman to save his legs? Was he simply fleeing from the great blue heron trailing him? Whatever the reason he and Joe were now close on the lead, and as it transpired, on the right side of the water for Andy to look back and see the real cooler nestled in a windfall on a small island. Pascal was caught in the parking lot of the Pretty Brook Racquette Clubbe (overrunning as usual), and the geezer and Sue Safford were half way up a first ascent of the sheer cliff beneath the Club when the "ON IN" was sounded. Best touch: Styrofoam cups as markers down the middle of the stream. This was a clever but risky technique as the average hasher wouldn't have the wits to figure out what was meant. Best comment: Effross, " let's dye Easter Kegs and have an Easter Keg hunt." Next Hash: #88 Sunday, April 6: Pascal sets so be ready for some major league false trails. Important FLASH : Pascal strongly recommends sweats for this run. Be warned! #89 Sunday, April 13: Andy Kaufman sets, so be ready for anything. Both at 2:00 pm behind Stevenson 91.