PHHH # 812.4 
Date:  February 11, 2001 
Weather: Chilly Scenes of Winter 
Venue: Monmouth Battlefield State Park, from the Empire Diner to Bob Bob Dugan's 
Time:  3 hours, including two soup/beer/cocoa checks 
Set By:  Pyroman and Weepi 
Hashers: Rojo, Speedbumps, Hand Solo, Discomfort, Llloda, Nonsensei, Yellow Ball, 
Excitable Boy, Juicy, Hey YO! Paully, Tropical Depression, Ice Blue Balls, 
Baby Blue Balls (hashing in utero), and Mr. Whipple 
The Defiant Hares (3:00 with 2 intermissions) 

The theme of The Defiant Hares is that what keeps hashers apart is their lack of 
knowledge of a common course. With that knowledge comes respect, and with respect 
comradeship and even joy, though not to his mother. This thesis is exercised in 
terms of a weepee man and a pyro man, both hares chained together as they make 
their break for freedom and beer away from a band of Princeton hounds. 
The performances by Pyroman and Weoipea are virtually flawless. Wepiy captures 
all of the moody violence of a hare, setting again because a woman backed out of 
setting the hardcore. It is a cunning, totally intelligent portrayal that rings 
powerfully true. 

As the arrogant white chemist chained to a casual transparent historian, Pyroman 
delivers a true surprise performance. He starts off as a sneering, brutal 
character, willing to dismiss the setting skills of his equally stubborn companion.  
When, in the end, he sacrifices a slice of pizza and the warmth of Bob Bob Dugan's 
bar to save his woman, Speedbumps, from the cold and dark, he has managed the 
transition with such skill that sympathy is completely with him. 

There are two parallel stories, the major one of the hares on the loose and the 
minor one of the hounds and their rag-tag posse.  When the hounds begin assembling 
for the big hunt, Mr. Whipple asks, "How come they set a live tagteam hardcore?" 
Hand Solo, in an Oscar-nominated performance, says drily, "The better to lose us 
with."  Little does he know that he will become irretrievable after taking Weepee's 
advice seriously at the second soupcheck.  In the meantime, the hares taunt each 
other with insults of such ferocity that their own chance of survival looks slim.  
In contrast to many hashes, where the word "wanker" is thrown about as if it means 
nothing more than any bit of repartee, this movie treats it with the power it 
deserves.  When Pyroman refers to Guipy as a wanker, he immediately lashes back 
with the furious retort, "Wanker! You call me that again, and I'll kill you!" 

After a while, however, their harey condition makes them realize the similarities 
of their condition and of their upbringing. Both view their backgrounds and their 
thankless jobs as somehow having been caused by society's repression. Weepee 
laments that his Ph.D. stems not from his love of history but from an urge to meet 
women, and Pyro rues the fact that he is not a big-time professor, since those 
guys always get tenure. 

Eventually, the two hares run into an EMT-licensed bartender and her Freehold 
buddies. At this point the bar begins to look pretty inviting. Their newly found 
friendship beings to crumble when the hounds stagger in.  Pyroman boldly proclaims 
that they can't hang him because he's got the tab.  The Grand Dominatrix and the 
other hounds aren't impressed with this line of reasoning and shoot the bad moon 
rising behind Wyipy. 

Among the many excellent small performances, Discomfort, another Oscar nominee, 
plays a hound who thinks the Hardcore is going to be another trot in the park.  
Her sad, glistening eyes speak volumes. When Discomfort wants to show her pain, 
she merely screams in Bob Bob's women's room while running hot water over her 
feet. Her look as she removes her frozen socks is more chilling than than any 
scene in Ice Station Zebra.   Set has other surprises, not the least of which 
is Pyro and Hwipie's sensitive and skilled sense of direction, which after 
turning 180 degrees in a clever checkback at the start, led almost due north 
to Bob Bob Dugan's. The scenes of the hare and then the hounds groping their 
way painfully out of a deep silted culvert under Route 9, their perilous journey 
up the creek, the confusing trail through the orchards, the soggy bottom near 
the railroad tracks, as well as their clumsy attempt to break into song under 
a full moon at Bob Bob's and the subsequent near-lynch scene, become integral 
parts of the larger hash, where all are united in pointless happiness. 
  
2001Hoshcars: Best Original Story & Screenplay, Cinematography, Set Design, 
Editing, French Onion Soup, Best Hash, Hare (Wuipee, Pyroman), Hasher (Hey YO! 
Paully), Supporting Hasher (Excitable Boy), Supporting Hashette (Llloda, 
Discomfort), Disappearance (Hand Solo). 

More Stills: 
      
Ice Blue Balls finds her false trail dream house    
Llloda soldiers on after a face-plant 

Next Hash: Lessee, no Geezer, no Pyro, no Bumps, no Weepee, no Llloda, 
no Uranus, no slacker university hashers. . . a curious lacuna from the hash 
set sign-up list . . . It can mean only one thing for the last weekend in 
February . . . Hand Solo's annual run for the Worst Hash of the Year!  Can it 
be so, Solo?  Or are we on-on for Rubber's Return, Down Three (beers) and 
Vulnerable?