PHHH #798.4
Date:  Guy Fawkes' Day, November 5, 2000 [Image]
Weather:  Fast
Venue: Herrontown Road to Kingston's tow path
Time:   55 minutes
Set By:  Hand Solo
Hashers: Nonsensei, Hey Yo Paully, Juicy, Discomfort, Definitely Not a Rat's
Ass, Ouipee, Table Toes, Wacko, Rojo, Geezer, "James," Neil (?), and Yellow
Ball

    In a performance that has fans scratching their heads in bewilderment,
participating hashers still gasping from oxygen debt, and international
authorities suggesting the use of performance-enhancing drugs, the Princeton
Hash set a land-speed record for a Solo set today, covering the
approximately thirteen-mile course in less than hour.  Displaying their
usual skills at avoiding dead ends, false trails, Wachspress double crosses,
and endless loops of life, the hash ignored Solo's feint and sprinted
straight up the hill into the Woods.  Even Solo seemed taken back, unless he
was coughing, for he had warned the group that he had forgotten where he
set, where he finished, where he marked or whether he had marked at all.
Undeterred, the Hash overcame endless checkpoints, grueling trailrunning,
and considerably more pavement than is seemly for Princeton.
    "This calls for an immediate investigation," proclaimed US Track and
Field CEO Craig Masback (PU '77).  "The United States is a world leader in
hashing and fully expects to see this activity accredited as an Olympic
sport at Athens.  Since Hand Solo has never set a hash less than two hours
in length, outlandish performances like this one only diminish our efforts
to obtain medals for Americans in distance-running events.  We stand second
to no nation in keeping our athletes and drinkers above suspicion regarding
record-setting performances and will be testing the entire Princeton Hash
for steroid abuse, EPO, human growth hormone, bonobos thymus gland extract,
and Cadbury eyeballs."
    Hashers' responses ranged from "Bollocks" to "Who wants another
eyeball?"
PHHH #798.4 
Date:  Guy Fawkes' Day, November 5, 2000 [] 
Weather:  Fast 
Venue: Herrontown Road to Kingston's tow path 
Time:   55 minutes 
Set By:  Hand Solo 
Hashers: Nonsensei, Hey Yo Paully, Juicy, Discomfort, Definitely Not a Rat's Ass, Ouipee, Table Toes, Wacko, Rojo, Geezer, "James," Neil (?), and Yellow Ball 

    In a performance that has fans scratching their heads in bewilderment, participating hashers still gasping from oxygen debt, and international authorities suggesting the use of performance-enhancing drugs, the Princeton Hash set a land-speed record for a Solo set today, covering the approximately thirteen-mile course in less than hour.  Displaying their usual skills at avoiding dead ends, false trails, Wachspress double crosses, and endless loops of life, the hash ignored Solo's feint and sprinted straight up the hill into the Woods.  Even Solo seemed taken back, unless he was coughing, for he had warned the group that he had forgotten where he set, where he finished, where he marked or whether he had marked at all.  Undeterred, the Hash overcame endless checkpoints, grueling trailrunning, and considerably more pavement than is seemly for Princeton. 
    "This calls for an immediate investigation," proclaimed US Track and Field CEO Craig Masback (PU '77).  "The United States is a world leader in hashing and fully expects to see this activity accredited as an Olympic sport at Athens.  Since Hand Solo has never set a hash less than two hours in length, outlandish performances like this one only diminish our efforts to obtain medals for Americans in distance-running events.  We stand second to no nation in keeping our athletes and drinkers above suspicion regarding record-setting performances and will be testing the entire Princeton Hash for steroid abuse, EPO, human growth hormone, bonobos thymus gland extract, and Cadbury eyeballs." 
    Hashers' responses ranged from "Bollocks" to "Who wants another eyeball?"