PRINCETON HHH HASH #797.4

Date:	  October 29, 2000
Weather:  iPeligro!  iPesticidas!
Venue:	  DMV thru(?) BASF and Clarksville to Carnegie Center
Time:     1:20
Set By:	  Juicy Monster with help from Weepeesputin
Hashers:  Minor Minor Minor Tom the Irish Setter, Throat Deep,
           Excremental Earnings (Her P-ness), Brad Price, Discomfort,
           Neil Shenvi, Uranus Williams, DNA Rat's Ass, Rat,
           HeyYo! Kitty!, RoJo, LLLoda, A Joy to His Mother
MIA:      Geezer, Table Toes, The Commish

Descriptions, Polemics, Lies:

         Defiant Trespass! or, Accused of a Hash they didn't Commit

   It was a scary day for the Princeton Hash, mostly because not very 
many people showed up in costumes.  We got one Hash Whore (though of 
course there was no comparison to the High-Heeled Hash Whores of 
yesteryear, right Geezer?), one Black-Eyed P (aka Her P-ness), one 
dead Russian, one Irish Setter complete with big green hat and Can 
O'Guinness, a Jellicle Cat, and a Blind Setting Monster.  All in all, 
a lame showing.  Ah, for the Halloween hashes of yore, when tutu 
fragments were left on barbed wire fences....

   The best costume of the day, however, has to go to the Louisiana 
Reptile Fancier, who was not at the start.  As soon as we set foot on 
the driveway to American CyanaBASF's Scary Genetic Engineering and 
Pesticide Headquarters (700 acres), who should drive up and stop us 
but the LRF himself, dressed as a security guard!  "I'm going to have 
to ask you to turn around and leave this property."

   So how do we KNOW that it was the long-lost LRF, whom we thought we 
no longer had to kick around?  Two clues: Mr. Barker, and the iron-on 
patch.  The first was a dead giveaway.  Joy and Hey Yo! Paully! stood 
talking to this "security guard," trying in vain to convince him that 
"Mr. Barker assured us that everything would be fine, considering 
that it's Sunday and all."  The "guard" was not buying a word of it, 
a stunning departure from the behavior of REAL security guards, whose 
knees buckle and whose lips make a beeline for the asphalt at the 
mere mention of Mr. Barker's name.

   And then there was the patch.  The "guard" claimed that the hashers 
were on BASF property, but his shoulder patch clearly said "American 
Cyanide" or some such poisonous nonsense.  LRF, the cheap fraud, 
didn't even take the time to update his wardrobe to reflect the new 
ownership.

   The hashers, however, didn't put these minor slip-ups together 
until much later.  In deference to the costume, the hounds turned, 
with tears in their eyes, and proceeded to divert around most of the 
BASF property.  Well, there was one visitor to the PHHH who insisted 
on talking to some of the genetically altered Mad Cows, and he was 
given a verbal dressing-down by the same "guard" ("You will be 
arrested for Defiant Trespass!"  Can't you just hear the capital 
letters?) and had to catch up to the pack, only to be nearly run down 
next to the pesticide field, saved only by Weepee's quick thinking 
(really).  Table Toes and The Commish snuck up from behind and tried 
to stick a banana in the "guard's" tailpipe, but they couldn't get 
his belt unbuckled.

   The rest of the hash was uneventful, except for the part where the 
pack actually picked up the true trail along with some dried ears of 
corn, and the part where the pack got to the end of the hash and 
there was no beer.  All in due time, however: the trail, the corn, 
and the apres all showed up when the time was ripe.  Juicy barely 
dodged a zero, and probably would have worked her way down from a 
full hash to a .8 or so if the Geezer had made it to the end (fat 
chance).  Another bullet or three dodged by the PHHH (whew!).

On-On
The Unknown Hasher

UPCOMING EVENTS:

- A Joy to His Mother's 100th hash! (currently holding at 99, so 
don't hold your breath)

- Ouipee sets PHHH Hash #800!  (it promises to be Ouipee's most 
recent set ever!)