PHHH Hash # 762.4


Date:  March 12, 2000
Weather:  muddy-san 
Venue:  Princeton Forrestal Marriot to Rt 27 shopping center
Time:  1 hour
Set by:  Nonsensei, with a little help from Ouipee
Hashers:   RoJo, Geezer, Paully, Minor3Tom, Solo, Pyro, Llloda, Tropical
Depression, Ice Blue Balls, Darby, Speedbumps, Tabletoes, Dancing Fool, Discomfort,
Mr. Whipple, Alex Morton, John Douglas, Will Innes, Mike Whelpley



One Last Visit


It never felt this way before, walking into the Belle Mead Inn.  The air inside was heavy, 
but not with the usual malevolance; instead, it hung with sadness.  It had been less than 
a week since we had heard of A.G. Zaire's death, yet I knew that something more was up 
when I saw the Assassin's HumVee out back loaded with cases of Steg.  I cautiously 
wandered down into the tap room to find Jorge and the Assassin sitting amid a pile of 
empty bottles.  Barely taking his lips from his bottle the Assassin said: "We've been 
expecting you, Bumps.  Tell us about today's hash.  Would A.G. have approved?"


I told of the prevailing sorrow that shrouded the hashers; of RoJo's grief, and the 
disbelief at the news of Zaire's death.  I told of the boring start, the commonplace 
finish, and the obvious loops which always befall a virgin hare.  But as I regaled them 
with tales of the stagnant swamps, the muck, and the tunnels of shiggy, I detected a 
glimmer of hope.  The false trails, yes, there were false trails!  By the time I got to 
the down-down done by proxy, I knew I had won him over.  The memorial hymn was almost 
too much.  


"So, Zaire would have enjoyed this one?"


"Most definitley," I said, taking a slow sip of my beer.  "So what's with the HumVee, 
Assasin?"


"We're leaving," he sighed.  "No reason to stick around.  We'll miss all of you, but 
with Zaire gone, it's really best that we should leave.  Have one more beer with us, 
Bumps, for old times." 


Jorge slid me another cold one, then kicked the old juke box near the bar.  As I brought 
the bottle to my lips I heard an old song, familiar, yet somehow changed... 



Princeton Pie (with apologizes to Don McLean)


A long long time ago
I can still remember how that mercenary used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my $2 cash
That I could make those people hash
And maybe they'd be happy for a while.


But February made me shiver
With every hash that I'd deliver
Bad news on the hashnet
I couldn't do one more set


I can't remember how I stayed sane
When I read about his mangled remains
But something touched me deep inside
The day Zaire expired


So bye-bye, to A. G. Zaire
Drove my chevy to the Belle Meade
But the Inn was now bare
And good old boys were drinkin' Steg' and Bud Dry
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die


Did you write the Rules of Hashin'
And do you have disdain for "No Trespassin'"
If the Geezer tells you so
Do you believe in swampy runs
Can  hashing save your sorry buns
And can you teach me how to hash real slow


Well I know that you were not a tease
When I saw you swingin' on that trapeeze
You swung with bonobos
Man, I dig those painted toes


I was a lonely middle aged hashin' man
With a bag of flour and a geezer van
But I knew I was out of muck
The day that Zaire expired


I started singin'
{Refrain}



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Up and coming hashes:


#763.4, Sunday, March 19, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, Hey Yo! Paully sets the virginal equinox hash. 
#764.4, Sunday, March 26, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, The Prosecutor from Rumson sets. 
#765.4, Sunday, April 2, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, ??? sets???
#766.4, Sunday, April 9, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, ??? sets???
#767.4, Sunday, April 16, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, ??? sets???
#768.4, Sunday, April 23, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, ??? sets the Easter Beer Hash???
#769.4, Sunday, April 30, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, RubberAllen sets.
#770.4, Sunday, May 7, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, Excitable Boy sets.