PRINCETON HHH HASH #722.4 Date: June 30, 1999 Weather: Just like 'Nam Time: :45 Venue: Corner of Gibbs & Bunting in Trenton - South across 295 to the Delaware - Through cemetery and across Rte 129 to start. Set By: Pyroman Hashers: Schwa, Wacko, TableToes, Natural Born Lesbian, Something Juicy, Booger, Discomfort, RoJo, Mike "Dutch Treat" {pending}, Wrong Way, Speed Bumps, Oui Pee, Hey Yo Paully Rookie: Bob Fish ME-KONG REVISTED (see HASH #180.2, July 10, 1988) We never found out the name of the guy who briefed us before the mission; we called him Pyro among ourselves. The word was he'd been a chemist or something until they caught him in the reagent bottles once too often. Anyhow, here he was rattling off the target info for a mission nobody wanted any part of - up the swamp to Mai Dick. Christ, two teams had been lost up there in the last five weeks. Joy to his Mother and Bang Him Harder had gone over the hill once they heard; never even showed up for the briefing. HQ sent us some new meat - Bob Fish and Dutch Treat. They'd regret they ever thought about signing up. The transport dropped us in the middle of bloody nowhere, miles from the objective and only airdropped marks to get us there. We beat feet to get going before Charlie caught on that we were around. The swamp came up on us fast, and before we knew it we were knee deep in the hoopla, with Oui Pee and Speed Bumps out in front (so that they'd find all the mines first). When we heard the water snakes slithering into the mire we knew it was time to blow that particular pop stand. Ro Jo was up on the point, so she was the first to hit Charlie's latest little surprise - vicious nerve agents smeared on ordinary-looking nettles. Everybody tried to scrub it off in the river, except Booger, who stopped to munch a few. No effect. We were stuck in the swamp for bloody ever after that, knee deep and trying to ignore the crap getting in through the cuts those chem-warfare nettles had opened. We finally closed in on a bridge we took for the target, running like rabbits in case we were observed; but it was only a decoy HQ had airdropped in. There was a tape recording from Pyro saying that we only had ten miles to go and if we screwed up the Secretary would disavow all knowledge and all that crap. We were going to burn the tape, but some un-friendlies were approaching, so we hit the trail fast. It all melts together after that: Discomfort screaming bloody murder, Schwa impaling herself on a fence, Table Toes lurking around the cemetery, checking for the ghost of his buddy 242 who'd vanished after a mission last year. Nobody really remembers how it ended. We all dragged our asses into the target eventually.... and found Pyro seated by a cooler, beer in hand, saying "War is hell, men, isn't it? Well, this was only an exercise, and you did splendi....... That's as far as he got; a few lungfuls of Bill Clinton Jelly Beans can quiet anybody. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- NEXT HASHES: #723.4 Wed, July 7, 1999, 6 pm, 87 Prospect, Uranus sets. #724.4 Wed, July 14, 1999, 6 pm, 87 Prospect, Speed Bumps Sets. #725.4 Wed, July 21, 1999, 6 pm, 87 Prospect, Tom The Army Guy Sets. #726.4 Wed, July 28, 1999, 6 pm, 87 Prospect, Table Toes Sets??? #727.4 Wed, Aug 4, 1999, 6 pm, 87 Prospect, LRF Sets??? #728.4 Wed, Aug 11, 1999, 6 pm, 87 Prospect, Throatwarbler Mangrove sets. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- To subscribe to the Princeton Hashnet, email the message subscribe phhh to the address majordomo@cdiprinceton.com Post messages to the Princeton Hashnet by e-mailing to phhh@cdiprinceton.com and don't forget to check out our shiggy-filled Web Page http://www.princetonol.com/groups/phhh