PRINCETON HHH HASH #694.4


Date: January 3, 1999
Weather: Slip Sliddin Away
Venue: Herrontown Woods and asundry local roads
Time: 1:17
Set By: Pyroman (live)
Hashers:  Pete (?) Dayton, Speed Bumps, Geezer, LLLoda, Tabletoes, LRF,
Discomfort, Rojo, Uranus Williams, Juicy Nog, Ice Blue Balls, Tree, Darby  
Rookie:  Tom the Air Force Guy


First to the Cooler:  The LRF
Last to the Apres (at his own home - but we'll get back to that):  A Joy
to His Mother

                        Descriptions, Polemics, and Lies:

The "There is Nothing Like a Dame" Hash

Perhaps the sun, the moon and the stars had fallen out of alignment,
or perhaps it was the recent appearance of Eyesore at last week's hash
that set certain hashers a giggle with excitement that he may show up
again this week, or perhaps it was the promise of a live set by
Pyroman and the prospect of stripping him as butt-neked as BUTT-ful
Bucks County, if caught - but an auspicious, or inauspicious
(depending on whether you are Rojo or not) event marked Hash 694.4
even before it began - As Geezer pulled up in his nonGeezervan
relic/Geezer miniwagon, he proclaimed "Today something has occurred
that has never before occurred in the history of the PHHH - not in the
PHHH's 693 or 4 odd hashes have there been more female than male
hashers on a hash - UNTIL TODAY!!!!"

Upon which Rojo cried in dismay - "This won't do - this just will not
do!!!  If only I had not left AG Zaire in Thailand to recuperate from
his latest "gymnastics" injuries.  Oh the Horror, . . . the horror."
Countering Rojo's dismay was Tabletoes, realizing that the
gender-ratio related confusion could be a good thing, causing him to
leap around going "Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!" as he tried to jump for Joy -
not quite realizing that (a) Joy was not there to be jumped for (yet),
and (b) inspite of his Breck-girlian locks and yummy good looks Joy is
actually a man.  Too bad Joy didn't show up earlier ladies, but rumor
has it that the get a life poster child was actually trying to get a
life.

So with Rojo and Juicy muttering to themselves about the serious lack
of beefcake and with no Eyesore - or even a leftover W person (Wacko,
Wrong Way, ToxicWaste or Tumbling Bill) from the week before to warm
the ladies thoughts - it was off to beautiful but BORRRING Herrontown
Woods to try and catch the man of fire before the torrential deluge
put out his flame of flour.  Ahh yes, Herrontown Woods, the last time
the PHHH set here was when Juicy and Tabletoes set their
super-cala-fraj-alisticly-misguided Easter Beer-hunt hash.  An
inauspicious yet fitting choice of starts for this first -
apathetically organized hash of the year.

So with one last warning from Speedbumps - "Pyro's had a lot of coffee
today, couldn't you tell?" - it was off into the morning's deluge and
the swampy, slippery woods, amid delayed whines from last year of wet
feet, and muddy shoes.  Since this was the first rain the PHHH had
seen since September, the whining seemed particularly intense when
Pyro actually found rolling streams and babbling brooks to cross that
required feet actually to be submerged up to the ankles - and since
Rubber Allen wasn't here to carry her across these expanses of
glacier-fed springs, even Juicy was forced to get her wittle toes wet.
Hmmm, Pyro found a way to set across a stream, that's about as
surprising as 242 finding a golf course to cross during one of his
live sets.

Nonetheless, from these wet and wild woods, with many boulders to
scramble, and an amazing double cross arrow atop a giant mound of
rocks,it was off onto the streets of north Princeton - where it
appears the hare seems to have lost his way.  On and on and on and on
the roads it went.  Maybe Pyro gave up and gave his bag of flour to
the Energizer Bunny, to keep going and going and going - either that
or all that coffee he drank was making him run amok.  But up to 206,
back down Mt. Lukas Road, and back toward 206 again went the trail,
somehow convincing the old boys on the hash that the trail MUST go
back to the start - "An obvious A to A if you asked me," said Geezer -
luckily no one did and the ladies thought otherwise -

Yes, it appears that Harry Belafonte was right again, for yes, the
woman is smarter, as they decided to actually follow the trail of
flour as it wound its way toward the Princeton Shopping Center and
onto Valley Road - but wait, there is a hasher that lives on Valley
Road, isn't there?  Hmmm, I wonder who's house it could be going to?
Well, A Joy to His Mother lives around here somewhere - But Joy isn't
here - Pyro wouldn't take a bunch of dirty, muddy hashers to Joy's
house when he hasn't even been home for 2 weeks, would he?  Well the
last time the hash was there he did say make yourself at home - could
this seemingly innocuous invitation be coming back to haunt Joy once
again????

Well, yes.  And somehow, inspite of running off trail and out of
earshot, the LRF still managed to make it to the on in before everyone
else.  So while huddled hashers yearning for warmth hovered by the
door to Joy's Humble abode, the LRF went to make friends with Joy's
landlady upstairs (2 weeks ago caught in a tryst with Rojo, and now
Joy's landlady - what is the world coming to?)  Luckily a means to
enter the domicile was found and a brief ethical discussion ensued as
to enter or not.  Since the PHHH is without religious or ethical
guidance though, and with the realization that Paully, and his cat in
the hat ways, actually was not hashing this wet, wet, wet day - So the
hashers did enter, since A Joy to His Mother was away.

But Joy will not like it, not one little bit,
No he will not like it, with cream that is whipped
Cream that is whipped? Ooo that's quite a treat
Especially with salsa and corn that is chipped.

But what will His Mother say when he's home
Will he stand there and stare, like a little lawn gnome
or will he rejoice and delight with the hash
And hope that no one will find the sock of hash cash.

On In went the hashers, to the warmth of Joy's house
With Blue Balls and LLLoda, barely larger than a mouse
And with Uranus' egg nog that was spiked with some rum
Even Rojo did enter, with her Smurf-like blue bum.

And then there was beer to warm the cold bodies
and little green peas covered with some wasabi
And laughter ensued when Joy did arrive
to his home that had been vandal-ized.

Overheard at the On-In:
"It's OK ma'am, Mr. Barker said we could break into his apartment."
  
"That's it, they are the most incompetent group I've ever run with.
I'm never coming back." - LRF
"I'm not coming back either" - Geezer
"No, Geezer, come back for me" - Rojo
"OK, but only for you Rojo." - Geezer

"I just want to make sure that you all know that I'm sure not gonna do the
write-up.  And now back to my vacuuming."  - A Joy to His Mother