THIS WEEK'S HASH IS ON SATURDAY!!!!!!! THIS WEEK'S HASH IS ON SATURDAY!!!!!!! THIS WEEK'S HASH IS ON SATURDAY!!!!!!! THIS WEEK'S HASH IS ON SATURDAY!!!!!!! THIS WEEK'S HASH IS ON SATURDAY!!!!!!! THIS WEEK'S HASH IS ON SATURDAY!!!!!!! THIS WEEK'S HASH IS ON SATURDAY!!!!!!! PRINCETON HHH HASH #599.4 Date: March 23, 1997 Weather: or not to continue Venue: Clarksville Road near the Railroad Bridge to Mercer County Park - to Van Ness Wildlife Refuge to Mercer County Community College Time: 2 hrs plus - (2 hours and 39 minutes for Breeder and Gerbils) Set By: Safe Sweats Hashers: LRF, Pinup, Wacko, 242, Niall, Jeff Skaar, Reluctant Breeder, The Gerbils Are Sick and Dying, John, Yogi, Delay Lllama, Andrew Vaughn EXODUS And the Israelites, enslaved by their own stupidity, trusted in the words of the false prophet "Safe Sweats" when he saideth, "I used 20 pounds of flour this time". Fools that they were, or maybe merely desperate for a brief respite from the bondage of their banal existences, the "down-trod-on" embarked on the course laid by the Sweaty One into the wilderness toward the promised land of Milk and Honey. "How many people are going to want beer at the end," askethed the pusillanamous prophet. A show of hands. "Let's see... one, two..." Twenty pounds of flour. That's right. Sounds encouraging, until it takes 4 minutes and a hint by the Hare to find the second mark! Let's see, a quick mathematical calculation determines that at that rate it would take us a little over 24 hours to find all twenty pounds! ...but I'm forgetting my lame attempt at a Biblical theme... And Safe Sweats spoke. And the hounds saw that it was bad. Very bad. At the first check mark the trail performed a fifteen mark loop up over the road and back to the railroad tracks. Obviously the prophet is used to using his clairvoyant powers to determine from which of the fifteen marks the true trail branches. But we, mere mortals, we do not have such powers. No, not us - we would need a prophet to lead us. And the Lord saw our plight, and a prophet arose from our midst. The LRF, like Moses, gathered up the bewildered hordes and cast off their despair - speaking new words of truth and guidance - ... mercer county park. And so it was that the children of the Geezer were led by the prophet LRF, his clarion call ever in the distance pulling them toward Mercer County Park, as they continually lost their way trying to actually find the trail of the evil Safe Sweats, prophet of Hades. Again and again the lost souls were rescued by the distant cries of this life-saving prophet, vanishing toward MCP. And soon, laying across the path of the lost children, was an immense sea of water - impassable - stretching from horizon to horizon, with darkness fast approaching. All were forlorn, they tore their garments and flesh in vexation. But the prophet LRF was not dismayed. Alone he stood above the pathetic throng - and like Moses at the Red Sea he spoke again - ... the dam. But the children were now spread far and wide throughout the land. And few followed the LRF to the dam and across - so none were there to witness his perplexity when no marks were to be found. Alas, even prophets can have bad days. The LRF rejoined the others, and lo, soon the trail circled around to a cold dark river which had to be forded - yes, the dam in fact would have been better. The waters did not part as well as might have been hoped - now wet and tired after 1 hour and 30 minutes, the wanderers emerged on the far bank and took off toward the dam where they were greeted by THREE F's!! All that is, except Wacko, determined to find a better crossing point, Wacko went to the right, a mistake of epic proportion as he bumbled directly into the foulest psychological trap ever encountered on a Princeton hash - A FOREST OF FLOUR! Harken back to the prophet's evil misleading - "I used twenty pounds of flour". True it was! But fifteen of it was in this one FOREST. Flour flour everywhere but not a drop of beer to drink. And which way did the true trail lead from this floured forest? Why directly past the 3 F's. The one direction Wacko was sure to never guess! So while Wacko floundered with head reeling and wondering why no one had yet joined him - the others forged ahead over the 3 F's. As with all great prophets, the LRF led his followers to the promised land, but could not enter himself - for that is how we inject tragedy into biblical stories. The LRF, with 242 and Niall in tow, was convinced the 3 F's were real and that the absence of Wacko meant the true trail must have gone to the right. Circling around - they found Wacko stumbling in confusion from the woods, a shell of his former self, mumbling, "flour, flour, flour, ughmbmfhgnhvgdnsbhgf ugh guh". Being that it was 1 hour and 45 minutes into the hash - these 4 decided to return to their pitiful lives, running the 3 miles plus back to the cars. The others caught on that ignoring marks could be profitable - what marks there were - and pushed onward, eventually finding the promised beers and salsa (in about the same time it took the others to make it back to the cars). 40 minutes later, the Breeder and Gerbils straggled in, timing their entrance perfectly, precisely after Safe Sweats headed off to look for them. And all drank beer. And it was good. Well. It didn't totally suck. #600.4: SATURDAY, March 29, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, PYROMAN SETS #601.4: Sunday, April 6, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, Breeder & Gerbils Set #602.4: Sunday, April 13, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, Wacko Sets #603.4: Sunday, April 20, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, VOLUNTEERS?????? #604.4: Sunday, April 27, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, VOLUNTEERS?????? #605.4: Sunday, May 4, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, VOLUNTEERS?????? #605.4: Sunday, May 11, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, VOLUNTEERS?????? #606.4: Sunday, May 18, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, VOLUNTEERS?????? #607.4: Sunday, May 25, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, VOLUNTEERS??????