PRINCETON HHH HASH #594.4

Date: February 16, 1997
Weather: Dangerous
Venue: Ringoes
Time: 0:50
Set By: Solo
Hashers:  LRF, Geezer, Jeff Skaar, Wacko, Rojo, IUTHW, IUTHW's brother
Scott, Rambo, Gerbils, Speed Bumps, Pinup, Hey Yo! Paully, Jesse Hammons,
Niall Hannagen, Reluctant Breeder, Chris Jones

Rookies: Yogi, Eddie Rubeiz, Jeff Bailout

Descriptions, comments, polemics, and lies: The Belle Meade Inn never
closes until A. G. Zaire leaves, so even at 3 am last Sunday I knew he was
in there when I saw lights shining through the cracks in the boarded up
front door. And so he was, sitting at his usual table with the Cuban
Assassin, training for the Hard Core Hash in the standard way. The Assassin
was drinking Cuba Libres and Zaire had his usual Stegmaier. Jorge the
waiter dozed on the floor amidst an impressive pile of empties. 

"So where were you today," I asked, "Solo set in Ringoes." "We know, we
know," smiled Zaire. A Zaierian smile is something to behold; a cross
between a giant gekko about to strike a fly and a crocodile set to bite off
your leg. "Solo sets just run down the tracks. Sometimes eight miles,
sometimes half a mile. But it's always the same, why run? Why the idiot
Geezer keeps giving him those Hash of the Year awards I'll never
understand. And we were there in any case. Didn't you see us?"

"No," I replied, "but I was distracted by the cops." At this point Zaire
and the Assassin broke into laughter, slapping each other on the back and
cackling hysterically. Zaire's smile is nasty, but when he laughs it is
truly terrifying. "So you thought it was a cop, did you? A real cop would
have had the lot of you in the slammer in a minute. Officer Bratkowski was
it? A likely name! That was the Assassin! And who do you think the
homeowner was?" I knew that the Assassin was a master of disguise, and no
one ever gets a good look at Zaire - except maybe Rojo and she never talks.
It could have been true. Jorgo stirred, whimpering in his sleep, and Zaire
threw a half-empty Steg bottle at him, adding to the detritus on the floor.
I changed the subject.

"How about next week, it's the hard Core Hash." I said.  "Hard Core?"
replied Zaire, "with that wimp Rambo setting it can't be Hard Core. I bet
you think he finished Solo's set. Not a chance. We found him lost and drove
him to the end. Well, maybe, if Gunnel Humper will be there. Will there be
marks this year? Maybe Ossifer Bartkowski will show up!" More malignant
laughter and thigh slapping at this bon mot, and Jorge groaned again. It
was time for me to go. 

#595.4: Sunday, February 23, 1997  2 pm, 87 Prospect, Rambo sets the 
                                                      Hard Core Hash
#596.4: Sunday, March 2, 1997  2 pm, 87 Prospect, Jeff Skaar and Pinup set
#597.4: Sunday, March 9, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect, Wacko and Jacob Microwacko set
#598.4: Sunday, March 16, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect
#599.4: Sunday, March 23, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect
#600.4: Sunday, March 30, 1997, 2 pm, 87 Prospect