PRINCETON HHH HASH #559.4 Date: June 10 Weather: Splendiferous Venue: East New Road Park (Sondek Park) Time: 1:00 Set By: Wacko Hashers: Mike Arnone, RoJo(?), Mr. Fluffy, Hey Yo Paully, Hand Solo, Pushnermaybe, Nightmare, Eyesore (farewell hash), 242, Jay "Table Toes", Geezer, Throatwarbler, others??? VISITORS: MY LIPS ARE SEALS (although we may rename him 'My Lips Are Eggplants') A Beckettesque Hash (or "I Can't Go On. I'll Go On.") Beckett really was an awful playwright, and probably would've been a miserable hash setter; but he woulda loved this one for pointlessnessaimlessness. Also like a Beckett play, this was a hash whose high point came before the start. As the assembled crowd of miserable whining wankers (the Geezer's phrase for those poor souls who had complained about his projected bring-your-own-food barbecue/apres) rolled its tedious way to the start in East New Road Park (newly rechristened Sondek Park after the South Brunswick Minister of Propaganda or somesuch person), Mr. Fluffy held forth on his views of marriage and home life, with particular reference to this evening's hare and his new spouse. "What Wacko oughtta do", the Fluffball intoned, "is rope her down and pump her fulla kids before she finds out what a louse he is". Who else but Fluffy (save Dr. No?) can combine personal invective, warped social commentary, raging gender bias, and self-satire all into one relatively compact aphorism? After this flight of eloquence, the hash itself was a comedown. There were inspiring features, however: 1) the gallant RoJo, showing up despite her recent left-handed radial laser kerawhatnotamy (who knows?) that improved her vision about a billion percent - and despite the fact she could now see the miserable slovenly crowd she'd been hanging out with for 200 or so hashes. 2) Fluffy's rejoinder to the bunch of depraved urchins at the start who twitted the pack about their slow pace:"Drink yer kool aid, kid". 3) The unusual wit and foresight of Pushnermaybe and Nightmare, who showed up fashionably late, in time to miss the endless, awful, thigh-sucking mud and goo hidden out behind the South Brunswick landfill. The hash gets vague in one's memory after this point, since it took on a bewildering, multiloop trajectory, three times back to the start, which was freshly adorned each time with a new set of Wacko Hieroglyphs intended to start us on yet another loop - first out in the primordial ooze, then off into the Woods of False Marks (some degenerate with a can of Krylon went bonkers in here, painting a bezillion white dots on trees). Recalled for a water break, the Geezer flushed with momentary pleasure:"Wait...where's Fluffy? WE'VE LOST FLUFFY!! (gleefully)". No such ruck, Aged One, as the Fluffball ambled up a few minutes later. The pointlessnessendlessness of the exercise was apparent by then, but everybody was anxious to get back in the woods some more so they could be eaten by the swarming bugs. Looping across New Road behind some unsuspecting farmer's homestead, Fluffy and Yo Paully emulated the long lost Euclidean Hasher , running for the horizon and being forced to hitchhike back to the end. Stalwarts like Eyesore, however, had picked up on the hare's obvious game at this point and opted for the shorter, ankle-busting route across plowed fields back to the start, completing what may be the first cloverleaf hash (A-B-A-C-A-D-A) in the long and dismal history of the PHHH. Editors Notes: 1) Most amusing, was the fact that Solo arrived early to the start and was treated to Wacko's continued reappearance from all directions in setting the A-B-A-C-A-D-A before the rest of the hounds arrived - information which had absolutely no bearing on his uncanny ability to get lost, run twice as far as anyone else, and come jogging in ten minutes after the last of the pack - which in this case were Hey Yo Paully and Mr. Fluffy who hitched a ride in a pick-up. 2) The highly touted "Most Difficult 50 Yards" ever in a Princeton Hash were met with the expected disdain and in fact were proven to be far easier than the short cut attempted by Eyesore which delayed him for nearly ten minutes - a fitting finale to a fine hashing career. 3) Many tall tales of wonder could be recounted of the eventful apres - none taller than Mr. Fluffy's account of reluctant breeding. 4) Geezer's favorite remark: "It's not a good hash unless you're bleeding into your socks." NOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENTOENOTENOTE The hashnet has proved too maniacal to continue at this time. Post all hash info to dan%cdi@princeton.edu and it will be forwarded. NOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENOTENTOENOTENOTE Next Hashes: SIGN UP NOW AND GET THE DATE YOU WANT!!!! dan%cdi@princeton.edu #560.4 WEDNESDAY JUNE 19 - 6PM - Toxic Waste Sets #561.4 WEDNESDAY JUNE 26 - 6PM - Mystery Man Sets #562.4 WEDNESDAY JULY 3 - 6PM - TFM Sets #563.4 WEDNESDAY JULY 10 - 6PM - A.G.Zaire Sets #564.4 WEDNESDAY JULY 17 - 6PM - ??? sets #565.4 WEDNESDAY JULY 24 - 6PM - Throatwarbler Sets #566.4 WEDNESDAY JULY 31 - 6PM - ??? Sets #567.4 WEDNESDAY AUG 7 - 6PM - ??? Sets #568.4 WEDNESDAY AUG 14 - 6PM - ??? Sets #569.4 WEDNESDAY AUG 21 - 6PM - ??? Sets #570.4 WEDNESDAY AUG 28 - 6PM - ??? Sets