PRINCETON HHH HASH# 524.4

Date: February 11, 1996
Weather: Nice
Venue: Assemblies of God Church, three miles west of Lambertville
Time: 1:15
Set By: Wacko
Hashers: Pushnermaybe, Nightmare, Rojo, Geezer, Solo, Delllay, 242, Trash Can
First to Cooler: Joe Burns, closely followed by Pushnermaybe

The 'G' Hash

As Pushnermaybe rounded the deck of Chateau Wacko, the pack wondered whether
his egregiously enthusiastic charge to the cooler was indeed the zenith of
his trespasses, or whether he, and his dastardly amore Nightmare, have
perpetrated greater insults to the collective sensibilities of the PHHH (They
certainly have, but we'll forgive past violations since they introduced us to
those delicious $9.95 steaks).  Ultimately, the question is most likely moot,
given that a recent outbreak of punctuality all but ensures his presence at
future hashes.

One can only guess what 'G' would have made of Pushner, Nightmare, or
Pushner's obscene tricks with cans of Red Dog beer.  But of one thing we can
be certain, 'G' would have appreciated the glaciated, ankle-snapping boulder
garden that Wacko dragged us through.  Others shared this sentiment, and were
observably spellbound.  The Geezer, weakened by habitual blood loss, cooed
softly about "The Sound of Music" field.  Unfortunately, no bone-crunching,
ligament-snapping noises were to wake him from his pleasant slumber, and
visions of Julie Andrews with the enchanting Von Trapp children no doubt
danced merrily in his head.  Some were not so lucky.

Indeed, the jarring trot from the Assemblies of God (a.k.a. The Church Depot)
parking lot was a cruel warmup--if the relentless briar didn't get you, the
snow-covered rocks would.  The reward for surviving this initial phase was
"The Sound of Music" field, a pastoral scene which may or may not be virgin
territory for the PHHH, but to Geezer's credit, was a sublime discovery
nonetheless.

Back into the woods, where the passage of deer stands went mostly unnoticed,
until the final egress deposited the pack in the uncomfortable proximity of a
"No Trespassing" sign garnished with a large mammalian skull.  Down a bluff
to a beautiful brook, where a deceptive gazebo (placebo) falsely suggested an
end to the suffering.  And finally across the brook, up the opposite bluff,
and into the yard of Chateau Wacko.

A pristine hash to be sure, but not one which was entirely resistant to
tarnish.  Wacko must have laughed knowingly as Pushner clawed open the cooler
only to find half a case of warm, thoroughly skunked Red Dog.  Yet Pushner
was not the only one to suffer through a few cans of this panther piss, and
one has to wonder why better beer could not be present for the most sacred of
hashes.

Crappy beer notwithstanding, Geezer obliged the annual bow to Gispert,
downing a can of the Dog in no time flat.  Perhaps in keeping with the
mournful tone, Debbie--Wacko's fiance--learned firsthand of the depravity
engendered by the PH3.  Poor soul.  She could never have imagined that such
unpleasant recreational in-laws were part of the bargain, for when she
invited the PHHH to accompany her and Wacko to the island paradise of
Tortuga, the gesture seemed slightly forced.

Luckily, not many hashers were present for the invite, since it seems that
most of the PH3 is either untraining for the Hard Corpse, or simply trying to
free themselves from the electronic juggernaut spawned by Eyesore.

ON-ON G.

Future Hashes:

#543.4             Sunday, February 18        Lllllllama sets the Losar Hash

In celebration of the Tibetan New Year, Dellllay has promised to lend his
zymurgical skills to the production of chang, an alcoholic beverage which he
promises will cause rapture, blindness, or both.  Bring your release forms.

#544.4            Sunday, February 25          The Hard Core a la 242