PRINCETON HHH HASH #493.4 Date: February 12, 1995 Weather: Colddd Venue: Marshall's Corner Time: 0:33 Set By: Milkman and Eye Sore Hashers: Delay Lllama, Geezer, Safe Sweats (unreconstructed version), Craig Wacker, Ed Martinez, Solo, Rawsex, 242, Joe Dolce, Molly Graves, Wacko, Hey Yo! Paully, Hand Job Rookies: Katherine Butler, Cary Hollinshead, Naomi Darling, Kristen Fountain, Cheyenne "Knight Errant" Dog of Hand Job "They're either too young or too old, Either too gray or too grassy green." Description, polemics, comments, and lies: What's going on here? Another sub-effort as the Princeton Pack tries to finds its legs for next week's HCH. I think we're in serious trouble. Clearly In Up To His Waist has been conspiring with the Milkman and Eyesore to soften us up as this week's half-hour-long jaunt through the snowy hills of the Hopewell Valley confused many at the ON-IN who were crying "Beer Break" much to the chagrin of the hares who had to watch in horror as their "best laid" plans were short cut into nothingness. This pack has become used to one end of the age scale: as the Geezer slips further into senile dementia, the pack has learned to compensate on his hashes. As Wacko's body and mind continue to degenerate, we have come to expect his prolonged absences. But we are now seem to be inflicted with a corps of callow youth struggling with an all too steep learning curve. This week's pair of miscreants seemed surprised that a pack containing such renowned FRBs as Solo, 242, and Rawsex might range widely enough to shortcut their effort, which roughly zigged and zagged across a road. Indeed, in a new twist, Solo had pre-shortcut the trail long before the hash even started. Would the setters themselves have been content to slog docilely through the cold, or might they have taken a flyer down the road? When confronted with a choice between running through a foot of snow and ice in which were embedded savage thorns, or of cruising down a road parallel to the trail, the pack also made the latter choice! What a shock! We will begin with the positives. Moving on to the negatives... no no no, there were some positives: 1) Unlike IUTHW's recent "someone erased my marks" foray is that the hash actually lasted longer than the ride. That is, of course, if you exclude the extra time trying to decide what to do about Hand Solo who was seen running back and so forth along the main road searching for the beginning (and in the process uncovering at least 20 marks among the trail's numerous, ridiculously tight switchbacks). 2) Those few who had braved Milkman's previous set and were stupid enough to return yet again, were pleased to find that at least this time the second mark was found in under half an hour, and the third mark in under forty-five. 3) Wacko didn't get stopped by a police officer on the way to the start, 4) there were actually a few beers at the end, and 5) Effross didn't show up. So what did we learn from this episode? A] Our new policy of publicizing the start location of the hash has unforeseen drawbacks -- this time, the exact location was not really specified and Hand "Marathon Man" Solo uncovered far too much of the trail flailing around Marshall's Corners in search of the start before we had even arrived. B] When two people set perhaps it is more difficult to recognize how tightly the trail is looping -- something future dynamic duos might be wise to tack to their foreheads. C] Ro Jo doesn't "have" to hash -- she spent this weekend with the LRF at a Hashers Anonymous meeting. D] Hand Job learned that dogs on leashes get through prickers much easier than the humans they are dragging behind them. E] 242 learned that just because a river is frozen in one spot doesn't mean it is frozen in every spot. F] The entire hash and wealthy homeowners in the vicinity of the ON IN learned the exact dimensions of RAWSEX's Bitter End as our spiritual advisor offered a spontaneous screening during the Down Down for his naming. 35 seconds of "raw sex" (followed by some obscure Japanese incantation yet to arcane to be understood by the masses). G] Rookies learned that "G" is the hash name of Alberto Ignatius Etcetera Gispert, one of the hash founders. His death was memorialized by a Geezer down down of one of the three beers available at hash's end. Now, upcoming events: Next week is the traditionally over-hyped Hard Corpse Hash. Directions are posted below, or you can call Wacko at 734-9282 or the Geezer at 258-3909. Or, better, show up at the usual place at THE NOT-USUAL TIME OF 1 pm. Bring a set of warm clothes for afterwards just in case the hash lives up to the hype. Get your wills in order. Read the shirt. The Geezer is bringing the whiskey. The week after, the Delay LLLama sets in honor of the new Tibetan Wood Dog year. He promised - or should I say threatened, to supply Chang, Tibetan barley beer, variously described as sublime or as the vilest drink ever invented. To calibrate you, those who call it sublime have usually been packing it away for a few decades, and the Tibetans are the folk who raised the drinking of rancid yak butter to a fine art. Fortunately for us, the last rancid yak died three years ago. Next Hashes: #494.4 Sunday, February 19, 1995, 1 pm at 87 Prospect, 1:30pm at start, Sir Hand Job sets the Third Annual Hard Core Hash. There is no longer time to toughen up for this infamous event. Directions to the start are included below or show up at the usual spot at ONE O'CLOCK! #496.4 Sunday, March 5, 1995, 2 pm, Delay LLLama sets in honour of the Tibetan New Year, the year of the Wood Dog. #497.4 March 12, 1995, 2 pm, Safe Sweats Sets #498.4 March 19, 1995, 2 pm Eyesore sets a redemption hash. *********************************************************************** ******************** IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR ******************* ******************** ONCE AGAIN ******************* ******************** FOR THE ******************* ******************** 3RD ANNUAL ******************* ******************** PRINCETON HHH HARD CORE HASH ******************* ******************** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ******************* *********************************************************************** "No rest for the weary, no mercy for the stupid" No T-shirts No money No whining And the directions to the start are in!!!! Here they are. What: 3rd Annual Princeton Hard Core Hash Where: Bear Tavern Elementary School, Rt 579, Bear Tavern NJ near Washington Crossing State Park. (Rt. 579 is Harbourton-Trenton Rd.) When: Sunday Feb. 19, 1:30PM (or at 1:00PM at 87 Prospect) Who: ...cares Why: ...beats dying in your sleep Second option: Meet at the Computer Center Parking Lot (87 Prospect St., Princeton University, Princeton NJ) as usual at 1:00 PM!! That's 1:00PM!!! Not 2:00 PM!! You will be driven to the start from there. Directions---> >From Pennsylvania: * Take I-95 to the Delaware River and take Exit 1 (just over the bridge in New Jersey) for Rt 29 North (otherwise known as the "Daniel Bray Highway" - doubtless, a former hasher who met an inglorious end). * Follow 29 along the river (for those of you without a clue, going North means that the river is on your left) for just over a mile and turn right on Jacobs Creek Road (Rt 637). * Follow Jacobs Creek Road for just over a mile to Harbourton-Trenton Road (Rt 579). Turn left and go over the bridge. It will be the first possible left. * Bear Tavern Elementary School is 1 mile up on the right. >From Princeton and other points in New Jersey: * Follow Rt 295 (which becomes Rt 95) toward Pennsylvania. * Follow the directions above from Exit 1 or be daring and exit at Exit 2 and turn north (left after the off-ramp) onto Harbourton-Trenton Rd (Rt 579). * After about 1 1/4 miles the road will end in a partial circle (with a creek beyond). Bear to the right on Jacobs Creek Road and make the first left (after about 200 yards) over the bridge back onto Harbourton-Trenton Rd. The school is 1 mile up on the right. Let the Quest begin.