PRINCETON HASH 475.4

DATE:	October 2, 1994
HARES:	The Milkman and 242
HOUNDS:	LRF, RoJo, In Up To His Waist, Delay Lllama, Paul "With the GoToHell
T-shirt", Wacko, Likes It (Sara)
ROOKIE: BIG STEVE
VENUE:	See Hash #1

Descriptions, polemics, lies, harangues, tirades, diatribes, invectives,
declamations, denunciations, jeremiads, philippics, reproaches, disapprobations,
censures, condemnations, reproofs, abuses, reprehensions, disapprovals,
criticisms, admonitions, reflections, vilifications, remonstrances, grievances,
rebukes, vituperations, indictments, accusations, incriminations, imputations:

UDDER NONSENSE

Brilliant!!  Ingenious!!  Historic!!!  Weinstein, Effross, Safe Sweats - mere
tyros.  New scales need to forged - Beamon's leap, Einstein's leap, Milkman's
spill, but no crying - only hushed tones.  Four hundred seventy odd hashes, and
none odder - a marvel unlikely to be matched!  Remarkable, unfathomable, Turing
would have been stumped.  Weinstein's trail of microdots and vanishing marks in
spontaneously plowed fields, Waste's footmarks in the snow, Safe Sweat's "toilet
paper in the trees on a windy day" or his "white flour on snow" or his "today
isn't my day to set, is it?" pale in comparison.  Even Mait III, blood of the
Geezer, legendary setter of the 8 minute hash, barely registers on this new
scale of ignominy.

The excitement began early among the veterans as the second mark was still not
found 20 minutes into the hash.  Wacko pointed out to the LRF that even after
242 began trailing we still had only managed to cover 150 yards in a half an
hour.  This 150 yards, by the way, were the playing fields across Lake Carnegie
- that's right - the second most hashed territory in the history of the
Princeton HHH.  The foremost was to be traversed next.  But first, you know the
two tow paths that parallel either side of the canal from Washington Road to
Alexander Road?  We were directed to a check mark on the one nearest to Route 1
after about 40 minutes.  Wacko, betting on the most unlikely direction, checked
the bridge over Lake Carnegie back to campus, but finding nothing, retreated.
Mistake.  The absence of marks had no significance on this hash.  As a matter of
fact, marks served mainly as a distraction.  Over the bridge we went, 242 in the
lead, searching the walls and sidewalks in vain until one mark was uncovered 3/4
of the way across.  We realized at this point that applying the concept of
"trail" was detrimental.  Our compass would have to be the endless series of
242's frowns of consternation.  However, the pack got separated at the fifty
minute mark (1/4 mile in) at which point time and space merged into some form of
cosmic chaos unpredicted by any modern physical theory.  ON ON's were heard from
the LRF, Ro Jo and IUTTW who had monopolized 242 and his oracular gaze of
confusion, but echoes and continuum distortion confounded those trying to locate
this Bermuda triad.  The rest of the pack were faced with the singularly
daunting task of assembling a reasonable course of action in the midst of
anti-reason.  Since the hares had chosen to use musical "forte" marks instead of
"F's" we figured the musical theme might tie into the end of the hash, so we
headed towards anything musical we might find.  (We didn't really think this had
any chance in hell of being true, but we didn't want to lose face in front of
rookie BIG STEVE - maybe we could convince him we had a game plan so he wouldn't
panic.  Big Steve kept on trying to wander off despite our warnings that it's
best to stay together, no doubt trying to escape to his dorm room.)  No marks at
McCormick (the music building).  Before heading to Westminster Choir College
someone suggested we try Richardson auditorium. "They hold concerts there."
This was about the stupidest idea I had ever heard.  And so, had to be right.
Eagerly we set off.  After a few detours to run down boom boxes we arrived at
Richardson and, yes, a mark.  We pondered whether this was a good thing.  The
Giants were kicking off already.  What the hell, may as well try to find other
marks.  Now we're over an hour in, and from here on the trail was less
stupendous as we actually managed to follow it, into Frick where the Geezer had
limped into his office at 10AM to find a mark by his door and wisely decided his
leg was not healed enough to run.  Delllay Lllama saw the flour on the elevator
button for the ground floor.  We finally caught up with the lead group at Palmer
stadium while the LRF was running back to the start to find us.  The end was the
WW school fountain, whereupon the final act of this cataclysmic misadventure was
played out - we were served apple sauce, assorted fruits and vegetables and
banana mango juice while 242 tried to open the Heinekens and Moosehead without a
can opener.  Needless to say, there was no salsa.

NEXT HASHES:

SUNDAY October 9   2PM     Geezer sets
SUNDAY October 16   2PM     Solo sets
SUNDAY October 23   2PM     In Up To His Waist  sets
SUNDAY October 30   2PM     Village Idiot sets Halloween Hash