Princeton HHH Hash #441.4

Date:  XVI January MCMXCIV                                                   Venue:  The Watchung Wastes
Royal Taskmasters:  Sir Solo and Sir Sleeper

		Members of the Court  	Squires and Pages
King Geezer Orgomaster 	Sir Rambeau du Virginia	Jud Brewer
Sir 006		Sir Reptile Fancier de Louisiane 	Sam Dellenbaugh
Sir Art the Nameless	Sir Safe Sweats 	Chris Neidre
Sir Duncan the Nameless	Sir Steaming Crotch	 Bill Pugh
Sir In Up to His Waste	Sir Wacko the Vain 	Rob ?
Sir Pushnermaybe	Sir Wrong Way 	Ron Roessler
Lady Rojo the Fair 		Dan Vogl

Le Morte de Rambeau

Chapter I — The Setting of the Quest

	Then fell it so that time there was a plague on the land of Orgo, and banished were leaf and 
flower, and ice and wild winds and bitter cold embraced the kingdom.  All men high and low did 
pray for respite, but vain were their prayers, and rumors of the King's imminent demise lay heavy on 
their hearts.  Thus it came to pass that the aged King emerged from his keep, and summoning the 
remnants of his strength, he did declare that only by completion of a mighty Quest could the land be 
saved.  Sir Sleeper and Sir Solo were appointed Royal Taskmasters, and set forth to prepare an 
Ordeal in the far northern reaches of the realm.  In the fullness of time they sent word that the 
preparations were complete, and that all members of the court should gather at the base of the 
Watchung Wastes, having first set their affairs in order, since few indeed were expected to return.  
And thus a great caravan set out, and after many travails did the royal retinue arrive at the foot of the 
mountains with but six years remaining in the Millenium.

Chapter II — The Meeting of Sir Rambeau

	No sooner had the caravan alighted, but all were amazed by the appearance of a strange knight, 
and the King called out to him, "What is your name, Sir Knight, and what ill twist of fate brings you 
to this desolate land?"
	"I am Rambeau du Virginia, and in all the world I have never met my match in combat with 
blade or gun."  
	The King considered these words, but before he could respond, Sir Wacko the Vain (who, if 
truth be told, was the illegitimate son of the King, and since the disgrace and exile of Prince Mait 
Geezerson, aspired to the throne) cried out, "That is a wild boast, Sir, and unbecoming of a knight!"
	But Sir Rambeau shook his head and replied, "Not a boast, but a curse, Sir Knight, for I have 
abandoned my lands and castle in the south and journeyed north in search of a king worthy of my 
service."
	"Well spoken, Sir Rambeau," sneered Sir Wacko, "but before wearing the King's blazon, you 
must survive the Ordeal which has been set this day!" 

Chapter III — The Treachery of Sir Sleeper

	All turned then to the Royal Taskmasters and enquired, "How shall we proceed on the Quest?"
And Sir Solo replied, "Seek symbols and portents, but most of all, follow the signs of red and blue."
	So enjoined, the King and his Quest Knights and their retainers and vassals shouted a cry of 
war and forthwith assailed the rocky footlands of the Wachung Wastes.  Neither thorns nor boulders 
nor icy crevasses slowed this stalwart band, and presently surmounting the first peak, they staggered 
in disbelief at the edge of a fearsome precipice.  Down a slippery switchback led the trail, but upon 
alighting at the base, the band was shocked to find the Devil's Mark [Ä] which no honorable knight 
may pass.
	Sore indeed was the return climb, and nearly perished the King.  But worse were the barbs of 
Sir Sleeper who gloated at the top, "Only minutes ago was the Devil's Mark laid; better luck next 
time!"  Sir Reptile Fancier longed to hurl Sir Sleeper over the precipice, and might have, but new 
signs were found, the company descended yet again.
Chapter IV — The Skulduggery of Sir Wacko

	Though honorable knights pass not the Devil's Mark, this evil sign was no barrier to Sir Wacko 
the Vain, who found the low road much to his liking.  Whatever traffic had the Vain Knight with the 
denizens of the deep remains unknown, and of this depraved journey through the bowels of the earth 
it is perhaps best not to speak.

Chapter V — The Bridge of Hope and Despair
	
	Down again into the chasm did the King's retinue plunge, until a frozen river barred the way.  
But the creaking ice held no sign of the Quest, and soon the company did wander aimlessly in the 
surrounding hills.  With only a few knights remaining at his side, the delirious King pronounced, "I 
see a bridge ahead; perhaps there a sign shall be found."  
	And miracle of miracles, so it was!  A mighty blast from Sir Wrong Way's horn brought 
knights and vassals from far and wide, and renewed hope was for a moment had.  But it was not to 
last.  
	From the depths of the earth appeared Sir Wacko the Vain, and dark were the faces of the 
King's loyal knights.  Few indeed were Quest signs here, and only Sir Wacko appeared to know the 
way.  By what sorcery had Sir Wacko obscured the signs, and what dark payment would he demand 
as guide?
	On and on the company resolutely marched, wary of traps, across a frozen lake, up rock faces, 
along treacherous cliffs, and past hovels long abandoned by their despairing owners.  Were it not for 
two homeless waifs, desperately huddling by a fire, who had seen Sir Wacko earlier pass, fully half 
the King's retinue would have been lost in the snows.  Even so, Sir Rambeau and Squire Ron had 
long since fallen by the wayside, left to an unimagined fate.

Chapter VI — The Constable of Watchung

	And so at last the company emerged from the Wastes at a lonely crossroads, with Sir Wacko 
hurling invective at one and all for their "incompetence", though by now it was clear that some dark 
conspiracy was afoot.
	Presently the local constable appeared in his carriage.  Glaring at Sir Wacko as he drove by, 
perhaps recognizing the Vain Knights visage from some wanted poster, he halted a furlong later, 
near to Sir Wrong Way and Sir Reptile Fancier.
	"And what may ye be doing this frosty afternoon, Sirras?" sayeth he.  
	"We travel on the King's business, and beg your leave to go," said Sir Wrong Way.
	"A warm coach is more to my liking, but so be it.  Godspeed to you, but avoid that loathsome 
knave a furlong back!"

Chapter VII — The End of the Quest; the Villainy of Sir Wacko
	
	Better advice was never had.  No sooner had the company dashed into the forest, leaving Sir 
Wacko on the road, but a multitude of signs were found.  Free at last of the Vain Knight's curse, they 
sped to the end in but a handful of minutes, where awaited a welcome repast.  Scouts were sent out, 
and Sir Rambeau and Ron were found, and all but one rejoiced at their return.  
. . .
	Honorable knights may strive from birth to death, but never yet has Evil been banished from 
the Earth.  So it was that Sir Wacko the Vain skulked to the end, and jealous of Sir Rambeau's 
fortune, secreted the King's blazoned shirt in a carriage, and sadly indeed did Sir Rambeau depart for 
the south with no reward.

NEXT HASHES
Sunday	2:00 PM	January 23	Safe Sweats sets
Sunday	2:00 PM	January 30	Rojo and In Up to. . . set
Sunday	2:00 PM	February 6	Undergraduates set
Sunday	2:00 PM	February 13	Geezer sets
Sunday	2:00 PM	February 20	???
Sunday	2:00 PM	February 27	Throatwarbler Mangrove sets
Sunday	2:00 PM	March 6	Wrong Way sets
Sunday	2:00 PM	March 13	LRF sets
Sunday	2:00 PM	March 20	Wacko sets