PRINCETON HHH HASH #438.4 Date: December 19,1993 Weather: Gravid Set By: LFBB Hashers: Road Jaundice, Art Taylor, Sam Dellenbaugh, Solo, Louisiana Reptile Fancier, Geezer, Wacko, Wrong Way, In Up To His Waste, Gnu Rachelle, Safe Sweats, Sleeper, Duncan MacNichol Rookies: Zeke the Dog Venue: Research Road to Some School on Orchard Road First to Cooler: Joe Burns Description, polemics, comments, and lies: Pregnant with Possibilities “It’s really well marked,” lied the Formerly Disabled One, as we gathered at the start of the last hash of 1993. And off we were on a typically convoluted LFBB trail; one that twisted about itself, circling in ever narrowing loops, cramming a couple of miles into a few hundred yards of “as-the-crow-flies” distance. In such cases the danger of shortcutting is all too real, and The Formerly Pedally Challenged One was at pains to call Solo back from cutting off half of the hash at the very start. It was essentially inevitable that Wacko would short cut to the end under these circumstances, and that is exactly what happened, as he and Dellenbaugh arrived at the end to find............nothing. “What!” I hear you cry, “No beer?” That’s right, folks, the Formerly Footless One, and his poor spouse had their signals crossed and we were left to freeze and wonder about the beer. The star of the day was Zeke, the best dog hasher since Dangerpup. The last dog we had was brought by Ted Levin and had to be carried most of the way because he was afraid to get his feet wet. Too many years of intense psychotherapy for that hound left him unable to cope.The Louisiana Reptile Fancier claimed to see 10 wild turkeys, prompting all the usual jokes, as well as thoughts that he may be branching out. But aren’t birds descended from dinosaurs? Well enough of all this boring pratter. First the schedule................ Hash #439.4 Saturday, Jan. 1, Hangover Hash set by the LR(and T)F, 2 pm Hash #440.4 Saturday, Jan. 8, Wacko sets, 2 pm Hash #441.4 Sunday, Jan. 16, Sleeper and Solo set the Second Annual Hard Corpse Hash. Stay tuned for details. And now, it’s time for.............................................................. ......................................................... HERE IT IS! THE ALWAYS-ANTICIPATED AND MUCH-BELOVED END-OF-THE-YEAR REVIEW FOR 1993! First Hash of the Year: #393.4, “Like a Frightened Rat” This featured a set by 8- Balls and the appearance of the Energizer Bunny. We ran 45 hashes in 1993. History Lesson: Hash #1, October 7, 1979. The legendary Joe Burns sets a loop starting from Stevenson Hall, 91 Prospect. Hash #100, September 13, 1986. The Geezer and Wacko set through campus, the grad school, Marquand Park and the Institute. Hash #200, May 13, 1990. Dogshrinker and Wacko set in the Pine Barrens. Hash #300.4, November 17, 1991. The LRF and Throatwarbler Mangrove set a Simple Tour of Princeton in deference to 15 simian visitors from Reading. Hash #400.4, March 7, 1993. The Geezer sets from Rosedale Park to Terhune’s Orchard. Best Venue of the Year: #404.4, Hand Solo, “We All Died at Neshanic Station,” a marvelous compendium of ice water streams and mysterious bridges to nowhere. Worst Venue of the Year: No Award; there is still no venue to compete with the “Warehouses at the End of Time,” The LRF’s #327.4, the worst Hashvenue in history. Worst Set of the Year: The Geezer’s pathetic effort in #435.4, “Boring Beyond Belief” that ran from the Safeway shopping center to Kingston. Geezervan sighted, pathway inevitable. Runner up: LFBB’s #403.4, “Four Pounds of Cornmeal,” with marks eaten by ravenous birds or set inside guardrails. Comment of the Year: Several good efforts, such as LFBB’s ”Hey, I set with cornmeal,” The Geezer’s, “You cut off the best loop”, and Amos Alonzo Moron’s “Stop! You’re bothering the golfers” all lose to a generalized question, often asked this year, “Wasn’t Walt supposed to set this one?” Wimp of the Year: Projectile Vomiting. Shows up just long enough to get (a) a name and (b) his literary career off the ground, then does a permanent el-fade-o. Crime of the Year: The Geezer asks on Hash #417.4, “Advanced Hash Paleontology,” “Gimme ten minutes to set the start”. The pack waits no more than 20 seconds before setting out in full flight. Whatever happened to Honour? What has become of Respect For One’s Elders? What a sad commentary on the state of affairs in the world this was! Most Wimpy Hash of the Year: At least relatively, this award must go to the much over-hyped “Hardcore Hash”, #398.7. “No Glory, No Cuts” (??). Last Hashes in 1993: Big Nut (#407.4), Dead Barney in a Sewer (#435.4), Steaming Crotch (#425.4), 8-Balls (#399.4). Mysterious Reappearances of the Year: Squatto (#413.4), Bo Diddle (#418.4), Dr. No (#426.4), Fluke Lemming (#431.4), Effross (#433.4). Honorable mention to a GDA sighting in the PU weight room 4/27/93. Random Personality of the Year: The Ancient Mariner, Floyd B. Turbo, an icy fisherman encountered, en passant, on #394.4, “Madam Woulda Hated Every Minute.” Notable Anniversaries: Wacko, LRF, 300 hashes, The Madam, 25 hashes all on “Two Wasted Lives,” #434.4. Rojo, 50 hashes, “A Rocky Road in Rocky Hill,” #422.4, LFBB, 25 hashes, “Pregnant with Possibilities,” #438.4. Most Promising New Hasher: Ron Roessler (first hash # 432.4, “Oxford Valley Maul”). An easy win for this crazed diver into streams. Best Food of the Year: There was no good food in 1993. Where is the cat soup (Dinos, #297.4) or $12 Burgers with Malice (NYCH3, #379.4) of yesteryear?