Jurassic Hashes PRINCETON HHH HASH #416.4 — Elementary Hash Paleontology Date: July 7, 1993 Weather: Carboniferous Set By: Little Fossilized Broken Bone Hashers: Geezer, LRF, RoJo Rookies: Rookies who would come out in this weather have not yet evolved "You know my methods in such cases, Watson. I put myself in the man's place, and, having first gauged his intelligence, I try to imagine how I should myself have proceeded under the same circumstances. In this case the matter was simplified by Brunton's intelligence being quite first-rate, so that it was unnecessary to make any allowance for the personal equation, as the astronomers have dubbed it." — The Musgrave Ritual Beginning in Edinburg, NJ, the trail dove into the mighty Assunpink, only to rise, somewhat, into a fetid swamp filled with prehistoric ferns and dentally advantaged insects. The pack, such as it was with the "heat index" at 114 , slogged along, occasionally encountering seemingly randomly distributed clusters of marks, only to recognize, after a half-hour of fever-induced hallucinatory visions, that there was in fact no underlying order: the trail really was composed of randomly distributed clusters of marks. (LFBB later admitted that he wasn't willing to go "in there" a second time in order to check the trail set days earlier.) Eventually emerging into a series of farmers' fields, the trail terminated abruptly amidst the soybeans, with no mark to be seen for hundreds of yards. Is this the second case of "that field was plowed since this morning" syndrome, or were the marks obliterated by an epoch- ending meteor shower? Who knows!? Fortunately, the earlier random walk had established the value of the setter's personal equation: Zero. With that information in hand, a true bearing was soon obtained, leading directly to marks in Mercer County Central Park. Here the trail recapitulated in reverse the initial phases of Walt's Hash of Oblivion, and then looped predictably back to Edinburg and an eventual down- down at Guido's. PRINCETON HHH HASH #417.4 — Advanced Hash Paleontology Date: July 14, 1993 Weather: Recently wet Set By: Geezersaurus retrodarwinii Hashers: Hashrat, LFBB, LRF, Pushnermaybe, RoJo, Solo, Wacko Rookies: Robin and Joe Don't wor–y, don't worry! It's just a matter of reco–structing the marks from the tr–ces of flour DNA that rem–in, and if there are any gaps we can ju–t fill them in wi–h sugar –NA; it's al–ost the same. So conclude– the mercilessly prolonged, abject whin––g of the Gee–er as he attem–ted to jus–ify the use of month-old, micro-dott–d, gully-was–ed m–rks for the cur––nt trail. And so it was –ith no small trepida–ion that t–e pack da–hed ou– from within the –lectric-fenc–d perimeter –f the Terhune Orc–– rd. (Le–'s just hop– that t–ere's no skulduggery i– th––r c–mputer depar––ent; we wo–ldn't want tho–e kil–er apples to get l–ose to ter–orize Pri–ceton!) At –irst it wa– easy. ––e initial po–tion of –he t–ail, repo–tedly s–t fair–y rec–– tly (perha–s –nly 10 –inute– ear–ier), of–ered no com–lic–tions othe– than bo––dom. Upon ar––val at ETS, ––ere was – –ignificant deteri––ation of t–– data st–eam, –ut, gi–en the –ery lim–ted op–ions ope– to –he se––er, i– was n– grea– imp––iment to –– e pa–– as t–ey char–ed thr–ug– the wo–ded –erimeter. Eve––ually a–– p–edicta–ly – –riving at –tony Broo–, the int–epid expedit––nari–s plun––d i–to ––e four i–ch de–– ragin– –aters, swe–led fr–– the sup––sed ––luge whic– h–d –––ortedly oblit–––ted much –– the t––il. Wel–, one –hing's for su––: ––ere –asn't mu–– –f a tra–– lef–. But whe–––r that ––sulted fr–– t–– p–rpo–ted rece–t d––npour, o– in––ead ––om year– –f neglec–, –ust awai– ––e radiocarb–– d–t–ng –f ––e trac–– of car––hydrat– –– casiona–ly col––ct–d –n t–e ble–che– b–nes o– –ong d––d sauri––s prot–udi–g ––om the –ry stre–– be–. I– n– –ime –h– G–––er wa– ––outing, "Thi– –ank ––– hundr–ds o– ––rks!" ––d "––is pa–h ––d fl––r al– o–er –t!" a–– simil–– dubi––– –laims. –ut t– – ultim–te –redibil––y g–p a–pea––– a– t–e P–ov–––– L––e –oad brid––, ––ere ––e – ––zer cla–m–– to ha–– –pread so –uch fl––r th–– ––e span ––s –n dang–– –– col–ap– e. –– thi– poi––, –midst a––roach––g –arkn––s a–– batt–––d –y t–e hard l––sons –f reali–– ––d m––y – slip –n ––– r–ck–, t–– Anc–––– –ne, wi–– unchar––––––––ic merc–, rev––led –he –ocati–– o– –he en–, – me–– t–– mil–s a––y, ––d –h– pac– dash–– –ff i–to ––e dark–e–– –f ––– –nknow– ––– f–rgot––n. NEXT HASHES Wednesday July 21 6:30 PM Wacko sets Monday July 26 6:00 PM Throatwarbler sets Wednesday August 4 6:00 PM RoJo sets Wednesday August 11 6:00 PM Hashrat sets “Torch” Bennett Memorial Run! Wednesday August 18 6:00 PM Pushnermaybe sets Wednesday August 25 6:00 PM Solo sets Appended note from your beloved GM: My secret sources have sent me notice of the death of Ronald, “Torch” Bennett last August 13th in Durban, South Africa. Bennett, along with “G” Gispert, “Horse” Thomson, and Cecil Lee is generally recognised as one of the four founders of Hashing in KL in 1938. He was the first recorded Hon (later, ON) Sec, and was certainly among those who regenerated Hashing after the war. He spent much of the war as a prisoner of the Japanese, working on the construction of the notorious Siam-Burma railway. Among his major claims to fame is the compilation of the celebrated Hash claim for war reparations for the loss of two tin mugs.