PRINCETON HHH HASH #380.4
Date: October 4, 1992
Weather: Socialist
Set by: Cuban Assassin
Hashers: Big Nut, 8 Balls, Louisiana Reptile Fancier, Mastro, Dr. No, Solo, Wrong Way, 
Geezer 
First To Cooler:  Joe Burns

Round and Round

Description, Comments, Polemics, and Lies: The Geezer, standing in for the Cuban 
Assassin who had an Appointment in Samarra, and couldn’t make the ON ON gig, 
began immediately at the start to wynge about excess length, missing marks, ad tedium 
et nauseum. The Assassin would have torn his gizzards out in disgust had he not been 
cooling it in old Habana, slurpin’ down Cuba Libres and ogling the dancing girls at the 
Tropicana. Still, the Aged One had a point about the first mark, which he described, with 
typical understatement as “the best first mark in the History of Hashing.” There it was, 
an eighteen foot anaconda in suspended animation in the center of a check. The Reptile 
Fancier fell into a swoon on the spot and it was left to 8-Balls to lead the pack into the 
woods, on the first of what were to be numerous hairpin loops. Out they came 15 
minutes later, a good 20 feet from where they entered. Next came a traverse of the 
unlamented Home For Really Bad Boyz and the Mother of all Burrs fields. The hounds 
ran into the woods again and then out onto the tracks, hashed and rehashed so often 
that the rails are slicker than Bill Clinton. It’s hard to believe, but 8-Balls fell for the 
overdone Pascal trap and headed down the track 180  from the pack, now happily 
looking down from the bridge at his vanishing back, and hooting in derision. Down 
Campmeeting Road they went, past Fairview, and into the woods to Hollow Creek. We 
went up the hill to Servis Road and along the ridge line to the Beagle Factory. Here, 
despite the Geezer’s warnings of what the Assassin had wrought, both Big Nut and 8-
Balls became caught in another of the Cuban Devil’s legendary Endless Loops of Pain. 
Round and Round they sped, grasping for the checkered flag as the remainder of the 
pack laughed, and the Assassin winked at Fidel and guzzeled another Frosty.

Back down to Hollow Road we went; there was a loop back to Hollow Creek, a climb up 
the hill to the crest, and then a nice downhill back to Fairview Road, passed 45 minutes 
earlier on the out trail. Beyond the endpoint they ran, speeding past the lone “F” on the 
trail, finally finding the cooler nestled behind a dead barn at Chez Kauzmann. The ON 
IN was graced with 25 cent beer and yuppie salsa (How can you expect a Cuban to get 
this stuff right?). 

What was No doing on this run? Thrown out of Pittsburgh after only 2 weeks, he needed 
the comfort of familiar surroundings, I suppose. Speaking of No, it’s time for the PH3 to 
elect another designated groveler, although it’s hard to imagine anyone reaching the 
depths so effortlessly plumbed by the duplicitous Doctor.  

Special Thanks to Peter Kauzmann, Maria Kauzmann, Christopher Kauzmann, and 
both the Kauzmann cat and woodchuck for providing the On-In venue.



Next Hashes:

#381.4 Sunday, Oct. 11, 12:30 pm, Meat Man sets somewhere in South Jersey. Call 
Wacko or The Geezer for details. At the moment it appears we shall leave from 91 
Prospect at 12:30 sharp. But check, things may change.

#382.4 Sunday, Oct. 18, 2 pm, Road Jaundice sets, if she still exists.

#383.4 Sunday, Oct. 25, 2 pm, Throatwarbler sets

As Tom Lehrer, said, “Who’s next?”