PRINCETON HHH HASH #322.4

Date: July 31, 1991
Weather: Yes
Set by: Flasher Gordon, Bo Diddle
Hashers: LRF, Dinos, Dr. No, Andri Smith, Whacko, Throatwarbler, Hand Solo, Geezer, 
Karl Krushelnick
Rookies: Rob Krebs
First To Cooler  Joe Burns


                                  Count Back, 1,...2,...2.5,....7,.....

Description, comments, lies, and polemics:  What number is next?  Was this HASH 
an SAT exam created by the ETS from Hell? Many in the crowd of finishers thought so, 
recalling with uncharacteristic ease the "Count Back 4" which was in reality ("What is 
reality, Papa?”) a "Count back random number."  Others demurred, thinking that the 
answer to the question, "Which of these things doesn't belong?" was either the 12 mark 
false without an F (Bo, "Oh, did you guys go that way?") or the 2 mile straight running 
between the tracks and a particularly appropriate but certainly unused hashwoods. 
There was great debate as to which was the greater crime.  In truth it was hard to tell, 
and the runners' confusion served to postpone many a down down and avoid the award 
of the dreaded hashit to the fortunate pair of setters.

There were a few classic moments, however.  The long straight (1.2 miles, in reality) 
surpasses Stu Sharp’s opening at Assumpink (#98, 0.8 miles) and the famous route #1 
stretch set by Joe Burns in his car on the Joe Burns Hash of Pain (#58, 1.0 miles), and 
becomes the PH3 record.  Not since Ray the Guard and the infamous Ossifer Obie (see 
"Evy's Abortion”, #79 and the hash set by Poison Evy and Ned Jaqzeen six months 
later, #95) has a Custodian of the Public Peace like Tennessee Jed appeared.  "Hold it 
Boah!" said Jed in his best Southren Sheriff style, "Ah cain call the cops and they’ll bust 
y'all to Hell and back in two minutes. There's New Law in New Jersey this month, and 
Ahm It!" The Geezer and Solo wanted to cut out his gibblets and fry 'em for breakfast, 
but cooler heads prevailed as Dr. No put on a truly sickening display of advanced 
grovelling, and Whacko attempted to butter up ole Jed with a few well placed comments 
like "That's sure a nice lookin' vee-hickle you got there, Jed," and "OK, cowboy, let's see 
some ID." Oddly enough, the combination seemed to work, as Jed, borderline 
schizophrenic that he was (he was hardly phrenic at all, said some), underwent a 
personality change on the spot and went from threatening bluster to fawning 
acquiescence in a twinking.

We ended at New Road Park, once a sweet summer combination of grassy fields and 
baseball diamonds, now a wasteland of slag heaps and mud courtesy of the Mercer 
County Park Renovation Department.  "Your tax dollars at work." There was adequate 
beer, if you call Nazi Light "beer”.

Next Hashes:
#323.4    Wed, Aug 7, 6 pm Geezer and Kaixu set.  Pizza Afterwards? 
#324.4    Wed, Aug 14, 6 pm Dr. No or Hand Solo sets.
#325.4    Wed, Aug 21, 6 pm Throat Warbler sets.
#326.4    Wed, Aug 28, 6 pm, Hand Solo or Dr. No sets.