PHHH #1113.9
Date: Sunday, September 24, 2006
Place: Urban Lawrenceville
Weather: Urbane
Time: Less than an hour
Hare: Hey YO! Paully
Hounds: Pyroman, Speedbumps, Oliver the Wonder Bra, Wipy, Delicate
Psyche, Ksilent Knight, Bjorn Dork, Caligulate, Keyless Entry, Warren
Baelen

Descriptions, Polemics, and Lies

Bring Me the Head of the American Girl

Every now and then, more then than now, Paully and the forces of
nature precipitate a decent, even sparkling set. This one, somewhat
improbably, was one of them. The much-touted pre-hash softball game
on some of L'ville finest greensward devolved to wiffle ball, which in
turn devolved into whipping ball, where Caligulate tested his velocity
on the bodies of sundry wankers too dim to notice that the hash should
have started ten minutes earlier.

After considerable misdirection at the start, many thinking this was
really a mock-Pyro hood hash, we clambered, mostly unnecessarily,
through some woodland, only forgotten because of the carcinogenic
industrial waste suppurating through the odd woodchuck carcass, out to
Whitehead Road, dipped over the canal and under Rt. 1. More pleasant
shaded trails, wondering when we'd cross the canal, until, yes, we
reached the legendary Roman aquaduct. You'd think the hash was full
of Madison Ave. prisses the way the pack shivered and moaned.

"It might be too deep!"

"It might be too cold!"

"I might wet my pants!"

Fortunately birthday boy plus one Wepiy sucked it up and picked the
right tunnel under the canal to get to the other side, where, after
some shiggy traversing, he found a doll's head. Not no chintzy,
two-bit, Chinese-made, shrunken doll's head with bee-sting lips and
big hair; no, this was a once-posh, 8-bit, Chinese-made, nearly scale
doll's head with WASPy lips and long blond hair that would have
benefited from a sympathetic brush-out. Instead Ouipee dangled it
just behind Keyless Entry's left ear.

"Look, Molly, a human head."

It's gotta be the shoes, even though they stayed on the ground while
the queen of Lake Carnegie broke three more ribs showing she's got ups.

Some time later, after suspending the face on the wasteland floor to a
dangling rope for the local children's sunset entertainment, the pack
splashed its way up to the bottom of Baker's Basin. Not the bottom
bottom, you moron, but the dammed-up portion, which hadn't been
traversed by the PHHH for some years. We concluded in a scenic grove
decorated with creeping 3-leaved ivy before relocating to the spacious
asphalt prairie behind the Brunswick Lanes, where Paully offered a
number of comestibles, of which I remember beer and cashews. There
was other stuff, which was pretty good and suggests that Juicy has
just about emptied the cupboards and refrigerator bins of various
comestibles carried from Moran Street and East Windsor.

Next week: Rambo saves Ksilent Knight's heinie with a Weippe' hash
October 8: Ksilent Knight has no excuse
October 15: Someone said they'd suck it up
October 22: Someone else said the check's in the mail
October 29: A halloween hash awaits its hare(s)