PHHH #1091.9 Date: April 30, 2006 Run list: Co-Hared: Meet Brad. He is Dork's flatmate, a peeyou admissions officer (does that mean he makes ppl admit to flatulence?), and soon to be Northwestern grad student in journalism after a summer gig as a camp counselor in John Cougar Mellencamp's homestate. Meet Dork. He's Brad's flatmate, a highschool science teacher, climbing expert, and all around cool guy. He likes long walks on the beach and setting sh*tty hashes. Hounds: Meet Pizza Flesh. He's a post generals grad student (congrast on passing!) in electrical engineering. He's a cricket baller. He climbs trees. And he'll be around for another 25 years or so for his PhD. Meet Carolyn. She's fresh off of a hip flexor injury, and brutally denied Paully who got fresh by asking to see it. She's a carefree sophomore at the local diploma mill and will be living with a bunch of non-cooperative vegetarians next year. Meet Hand Solo. Solo likes to run alone and drink beer with company. His company is changing Hands, so he'll be moving further north in the near future. I think he's british, but he has a taste for the orient too. He looks like a regular guy, but don't judge a book by its cover, he's actually a superhero! Meet Hey Yo! Paully! He's going to court in a few days because he tried to sell his son on the black market in order to buy more beer. This guy is out of his gourd. They would lock him up, if only they could catch him. Meet Hare in my Zipper. Charles really is a regular guy. The kind you want as a neighbor (as long as you aren't a sheep farmer). He brews his own beer inside half-full Dr. Pepper bottles he finds along the road. Meet Laren. Laren needs a hash name. We're hoping he sticks around long enough to earn one. He has been hinting about leaving Mercer county, claiming that new york city has better trail running than here. We're counting on Geezer to prove him wrong on the Flower Power hash next sunday. Meet Geezer. Geezer is a busy guy these days. It takes alot out of you to be f*cked in the bum by your employer of 65,000 years. You'd think they would have a little respect for such a tenured professor. He's moving out to Hopewell to live in a barn and study the bio-terror tactics of one Richard Pashtun in order to exact his revenge. Meet Delicate Psyche. Thats me! Like Pizza Flesh, I'm a grad student, but unlike Pizza Flesh, I am not post-generals yet. This get to know your hashers entry brought to you by ... the study break. A hasher's tale from the Hot Zone Got 7/8 of the way through Dork's hash and decided that it was inevitably going to end at the new High school. No action at the HS so I staggered back to my car then drove a mile to my health club. Felt good to strip off all my clothes and head into the sauna. It was pretty crowded in there but I managed to squeeze into a spot between the off-duty security guard and the nun. He was complaining about the shift he had just finished and the drunken louts who tried to run through his turf. "I showed them b a s t a r d s", he said. "Watch your mouth" shot back the nun. All this time I was quietly minding my own business, picking off ticks one by one and dropping them on the hot coals. The air grew thick with the smell of burning ticks. Calhoun, a mechanic by trade wiped the sweat off his torso and piped up "saw a coupla them buggers on my property yesterday and told them to piss off". The temperature rose to around 200 F and the security guard left, to be replaced by a drunken Irishman. The smell of burning ticks mingled withthe smell of Guinness. As I brushed past him to consign yet another tick to the flames he grabbed my wrist to steady himself and pulled himself to his feet to look me in the eye. " If you'da run past the pizza joint at 518 you'da seen the f*king marks". He muttered before slumping back down. "That's it! " Yelled Sister Mary "I've had enough". - she left in search of a towel.