PHHH #1085.9

Date: March 19, 2006

Place: Tullytown swamps and underpasses, Pa.

Hares: Speedbumps, Pyroman, and Oliver the Wonder Dog

Hounds: OUipeI, Hey YO! Paully, Bjorn Dork, Delicate Psyche, Itemized 

Seduction, Cliffdiver

Rookie: Matt Muffelman


Green Eggs and Spam

I am SOM.
SOM I am.

That SOM I am!
I do not like that SOM I am!

Do you like green eggs and ham?

I do not like them, SOM-I-am.
I do not like green eggs and ham.

Would you like them on a hash?
Would you like them free of cash?

I do not like them on a hash.
I do not like them free of cash.
I do not like green eggs and spam.
I do not like them, SOM-I-am.

Would you eat them at the start?
Would you eat them on a cart?

Not at the start.
Not on a cart.
(Yada yada yada you get the point)

Would you? Could you?
At the start?
Eat them! Eat them!
Just don't fart.

I would not, could not, at the start.

You may like them,
You will see.
You may like them
In shiggy!

I would not, could not in shiggy.
Not at the start! You let me be.

I do not like them on a hash.
I do not like them without cash
(Etc.)

A train! A train!
Could you, would you, by a train?

Not by a train! Not in shiggy!
Not at the start! SOM! Let me be!

Say!
In the swamp?
Here in the swamp!
Would you, could you, in the swamp?

I would not, could not,
In the swamp.

Would you, could you,
In the wind?

I would not, could not, in the wind
Not in the swamp. Not by the train.
Not at the start. Not in shiggy.
I do not like them, SOM you see.
Not in (repeat)

You do not like
Green eggs and spam?

I do not
like them,
SOM-I-am.

Could you, would you,
with a dog?

I would not, could not,
with a dog!

Would you, could you,
In a bog?

I would not, could not, in a bog.
I will not, will not, with a dog.
(Yeah yeah . . .)
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE!

I do not like green eggs and spam!
I do not like them, SOM-I-am.

You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

SOM!
If you will let me be,
I will try them,
You will see. . .

Say! I like green eggs and ham!
I do! I like them, SOM-I-am!
And I would eat them in a bog.
And I would eat them with a dog. . .

And I will eat them at the start.
And in the swamp. And on a cart.
And by a train. And in shiggy.
They are so good, so good, you see!

So I will eat them on a hash.
And I will eat them without cash
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!

I do so like green eggs and spam!
Thank you!
Thank you!
SOM-I-am!



And this from the Hash Poet Laureate . . .

The shades of winter were waning fast,
As through the swamplands passed
A youth, who bore, 'mid mud and muck,
A banner bore thru lower Buck,
On-on On-on!

His brow was sad; his eye beneath,
Flashed like a falchion from its sheath, And like a silver clarion rung The accents of 
that unknown tongue, On-on On-on!

In happy trailers he saw the light
Of household TV's gleam warm and bright; Above, the mire of weed and reed, And from his 
lips escaped a creed, On-on On-on!

"Try not the Swamp!" the old man said:
"Dark lowers the tempest overhead,
The roaring torrent is deep and wide!
And loud that clarion voice replied,
On-on On-on!

"Oh stay," the maiden said, "and rest
Thy weary head upon this breast!"
A tear stood in his bright blue eye,
But still he answered, with a sigh,
On-on On-on!

"Beware the pine-tree's withered branch!
Beware the junkyard cadillac ranch!"
This was the peasant's last Good-night,
A voice replied, far up the height,
On-on On-on!

At break of day, as sewage-bound
The pious monks on holy ground
Uttered the oft-repeated prayer,
A voice cried through the startled air,
On-on On-on!

A traveller, by the faithful hound,
Half-buried in the sludge was found,
Still grasping in his hand of ice
That banner with the strange device,
On-on On-on!

There in the twilight cold and gray,
Lifeless, but beautiful, he lay,
And from the sky, serene and far,
A voice fell, like a falling star,
On-on On-on!