PHHH #1077.9 Date: January 22, 2006 Weather: Appropos if snowless Place: Lubas Field, home of the Montgomery Cougars, to the power line DVD outlet on Long Hill Road, west of the Home for the very, very nervous Time: 1:25 Hare: Delicate Psyche Hounds: Geezer, Hey YO! Paully, Pyroman, Speed Bumps, Hand Solo, Homoerotic Tick Checking, Wheepi, Bjorn Dork, Aaron Virgin: Oliver, Geezer's four-legged doppelganger Pashtuns Condemn Purported CIA Attack Montgomery officials on Sunday angrily condemned a purported CIA airstrike meant to target the Princeton Hash House Harriers' leadership, saying he wasn't there and "innocent civilians" were among at least 17 men, women and children killed in a rocky redoubt near the Hopewell border. Thousands of Pashtun tribesmen staged protests and a mob set fire to the office of a U.S.-backed aid agency as Montgomery's people and government showed increasing frustration over a recent series of suspected U.S. attacks along the frontier that appear aimed at Hash militants. Surviving dogwalkers in the Sourlands denied hashers were in their park, but there were news reports quoting unidentified Pashtun officials as saying up to 11 extremists were believed among the dead. A Pashtun intelligence officer in Hopewell told The Associated Press some bodies were taken away for DNA tests. He did not say who would do the tests, but a law enforcement official in Washington said the FBI expected to conduct DNA tests to determine victims' identities, although Montgomery had not yet formally requested them. Counterterrorism officials in Washington declined to comment on U.S. media reports that CIA-operated drone aircraft fired missiles Sunday at a boulder-covered hillside in the Sourlands Mountains trying to hit Geezer and some of his top lieutenants. Their writings and pictures on the Internet have made them the face and voice of hashing on off-road, suburban terrain. They refused to address the target of the airstrike. But two senior Pashtun security officials confirmed to AP that Jones was the intended victim and said Montgomery's assessment was that the CIA acted on incorrect information. Both spoke on condition of anonymity because they didn't want to publicly comment about such a sensitive matter. One CIA official, who agreed to speak on condition of remaining anonymous, said, "No one lobs a few Hellfire missiles at a pile of rocks in central New Jersey without just cause. In this case, we had excellent, actionable intelligence from our internet sweeps that the Princeton Hash's lead grad school recruiter, Delicate Psyche, was planning another trip to Richard Pashtun's villa. The Geezer and the top undergraduate recruiter, Homoerotic Tick Checking, would be in attendance, along with representatives from the Trenton tribe. If we missed and toasted a few dog walkers by mistake, that's the cost of war with a ruthless and relentless enemy." In Montgomery's strongest reaction, Police Chief Michael A.Beltranena, Jr., called the attack "highly condemnable" and said the government wanted "to assure the people we will not allow such incidents to reoccur." The Recreation Department issued a statement saying it protested to U.S. Homeland Security Michael Chertoff over the "loss of innocent civilian and avian lives." Many in this township of 22,287 people object to Mayor Louise Wilson's alliance with Washington in the war on international terror groups, seeing it as a veiled campaign against Pashtuns. In the Sourlands, villagers said all the dead were local people and denied harboring Jones or any other hashing extremists in the ethnic Pashtun hamlet about four miles from the border with Hopewell. "We Pashtuns are good people, interested only in birdwatching and trainspotting," said one village elder with tears in his eyes and who could not spell his name. "Association with Richard Pashtun and his close ties to the government and security forces in Hopewell smears us all and brings tragedies like this." More than 8,000 tribesmen chanting "God is great!" took to the streets of Belle Meade near Sourlands to castigate the attack. Alibaba G.Zaire, a local innkeeper from a hardline Hash party, called it "open terrorism." Elsewhere in the area, a mob burned the office of a U.S.-supported park near Sourlands and police used tear gas and tasers to disperse a small demonstration in Blawenburg, residents said.