STEVENSON HALL HHH HASH #104	


Date: July 27, 1986 

Weather: Very hot, very wet, generally awful 

Set by:  Kaufman

Runners: Bob Pascal, Craig Courtney, Sean Smith, MJ, Ned Jackson, Ed Hirsch 

"First to Cooler" Joe Burns, the geezer  


Description, comments: "No mud, no sweat" said Kaufman as he set us off in the 
AT&T parking lot in Hamilton Township (NJ). The trail led immediately into a 
construction site transformed by the night's rain into a quagmire.  Perhaps Kaufman's 
apparent prevarication was true after all-this was more like quicksand than mud.  All 
escaped, muddied but unbowed with ten pound shoes and reacquired senses of 
scepticism about this "short, easy hash."  The trail led in a long loop for 64 min back to 
Hamilton Hospital, and included a bit of everything.  Swamp, woods and condo running 
led to a jogging trail complete with cute little maps, suggestions on how many nip ups 
were appropriate at each stop, and directions on when to take one's pulse.  This was 
lost on some of us whose pulses haven't been discernable for some years now, but I 
suppose it's the thought that counts.   

          Into a kid's playground ran the pack, kept together by Andy's profuse false trails 
and an understandable reluctance to run too hard on this day in which New Jersey had 
been transformed into the Congo.   Scattering small children and frightening mommies, 
the pack searched out the temporarily lost trail.  Fluid loss and heat-induced brain 
damage led to some curious techniques: thus all but Pascal (who was lost) followed the 
directions given by two teenage weerwolves who claimed to have seen white marks 
down an empty trail leading directly into a lake. If that pair had seen any white powder 
they would have long since have ingested it, and naturally this trail led nowhere. It was 
the peripatetic herpetologist who set us right again, as we skirted the lake with Hamilton 
Hospital looming on the left. The heat crazed geezer dimly perceived this and set out for 
the Emergency ward only to find Arlene S. President snapping  pictures.  He went into 
his world-class 30 yard beer sprint, and there it was, nestled neatly into the back of the 
Presidential limo.

          The rest of the pack was soon there and we were quickly lounging about, 
rehydrating on Esslinger and participating in refined conversation on a variety of highly 
intellectual topics including Hirsch's terminal case of instant poison ivy.  Meanwhile, 
unknown to us the Nursing Corp of Hamilton Hospital was cowering behind the fortress-
like walls of the Emergency Wing.  Fearing for their patient's lives, these future Florence 
Nightingales, already withered of spirit (and doubtless of countenance), did what one by 
now should expect.  They called the coppers. They also sent Slim, the 6'6", 150 lb Chief 
of Security out to investigate.  Slim did his duty, although it looked as though he would 
rather down a few 'Slingers than run us off and retreat to his post.  Being law abiding, 
and running out of beer anyway, we packed up and left only to be intercepted by the 
Hamilton fuzz who arrived in a caravan of sireen-blasting copmobiles, complete with the 
heavily armored Paddy Wagon itself.  The Ossifers read Kaufman his rights (as Arlene 
explained that he had none), and had the cuffs already on the obvious hard cases- 
Jackzon, Smith and Courtney-as the geezer hid in the car and Pascal claimed 
diplomatic immunity.  The Ossifers were attempting to find out just where Louisiana was 
when Slim ambled up, and sprung the whole group.  Thanks, Slim.

          Postcard from Dayton received by your Correspondent, quoted in its entirety:  
"Hashing Rule # 137:  Avoid drinking beer and following lime in airports, train stations, 
or bus stations as the results are often unpredictable.  This rule was empirically derived 
from the real-life  experience of Jim Gibson." Ignoring for the moment the question of  
whether any experience of Gibson's could  properly be described as "real-life,"  this card 
may explain this morning's news report that the State of Ohio had closed Dayton for 
repairs until further notice. 

Help!  Someone took the geezer's shoes from the apres and left a pair of Nike 
Gunboats in their place.  Please return!

          Next Hashes:  #105  Who knows when?  Call Pascal (452-5417) or Jackson 
(452-3892) for news.