PHHH #1015.9

Sunday, November 21, 2004
 
Place: Hun School to PDS

Weather: Dork thought it might snow, based on hardwon experience during a hash on February 16, 2003.

Time: 50 minutes

Hare: Geezer

Hounds: Hey YO! Paully, Homoerotic Tick Checking, Count von Count, Bjorn Dork, Weipi, Discomfort, Hand Solo, 
        Wacko, Sarah Moore (last seen on #966.9, and if you can see the images in the PDF, you're doing 
        better than me), Dave Gable (last seen on #983.9), Forrest, Big Nut (last seen on #859.4, we think, 
        though the write-up doesn't list him), Safe Sweats

Virgins: Mainline Caroline, Julie the EE

Description, Polemics, and Lies

Geezer made no promises that he couldn't keep, and he delivered on a tidy hash linking three unvouchered schools for 
the children of the crypto-capital fascists who already inhabit the fortresses overlooking the Stony Brook.  Except 
he mentioned a pit, and no pit worthy of the name made itself obvious; he spoke of a deerhead, but claimed it was 
steeping, sleeping or leaching, any of which suggests it was as tangible as the alleged turtles on #988.9; and 
something about flour bag labels at a construction site to keep the day laborers from getting nervous on Monday 
morning.  Your obedient servant saw neither site nor labels, but we all remembered the electric fence, at least 
Wacko and Weepee did, and headed downstream in search of a charge.  Fortunately the hash now boasts more than 
hemists and historians, and crackerjack double E's Forrest and Julie suggested thoughtfully that we touch the 
high-voltage deer-incinerating wires with the backs of our hands to foil the clench reflex, and if necessary grab 
the wire with the right hand while standing on the right foot to keep stray current from running through the heart.  
It sounds intuitive, but it doesn't sound like it would have helped this winner of the Darwin Award in 1999.
    We all crossed the Stony Brook numerous times, Homoerotic Tick Checking crossing more often than anyone just 
because, and rookie Julie saying something that Solo's employer's email filter would block in a nanosecond.  The 
on-in was a fine affair because 1) everyone finished, including Big Nut, the world's best dad even if he doesn't 
bring his company's 2005 calendars, and Count von Count, who was observed carrying his right leg with both arms 
on several declines; and 2) there were four women in attendance and the PHHH hasn't seen that many since practically 
before Rojo the Grand Dominatrix started wiping out her competition for boy toys in the summer of Ought One. Given 
that Discomfort is returning to Blighty and we'll count ourselves blessed if we get a 50% yield on the virgins, we 
may not pass this way again for another two years.
    Ouipee downdowned from a bowl formerly holding a passable storebought salsa for his alleged 250th hash, though if Geezer's memory is to be believed, we've only an even chance of our sclerotic grandmaster being right.