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Every couple wants to create buzz at their wedding. Not the type of buzz that occurs when Great Aunt Martha spills red wine all over the front of her dress, but the special things couples include as part of their ceremony or reception that wedding guests talk about for years to come. It has been my experience as a wedding guest of countless weddings, as well as a wedding professional, the details that create the most buzz are those intimate, personal touches that truly reflect the bride and groom – those rare, precious moments that allow your guests a genuine glimpse inside your life and your love; and cause them to gently wipe a tear, or squeeze the hand of their own spouse, or simply smile silently inside. Those are the moments that will be re-told and relived throughout your marriage, and may even become special wedding traditions for future generations.
Making it Matter
First, and perhaps most importantly, try to remember that if it matters to you, it will indeed matter to your guests. This is your day; your wedding; your once-in-a-lifetime-love; and one of the single most significant days of your life. Your family and friends want to be a part of what is meaningful and special to you. No one wants to participate in a wedding celebration that is just like the one they attended last summer, or the time before that, or the time before that. Include details that truly showcase you and your fiancé’s personality, ethnic background, childhood, family, relationship, tastes, quirkiness, sense of humor, hobbies, and the like. It is personalization such as this that truly “creates buzz that matters.”
Moments that Buzz
Just as Oprah and Martha have their lists of Favorite Things, these are a few of mine:
One of my best friends who is now married with 3 children, told me that the single most meaningful moment of her wedding came when it was time to throw her bouquet. She had never been fond of that particular tradition, so instead she had her florist create a miniature replica of her own bouquet and she quietly presented it to her god-mother during her reception. Ten years later, that bouquet still sits on her god-mother’s night stand, next to her bed.
When my father remarried, he and his wife decided to forgo traditional wedding cake in lieu of a hot fudge sundae bar. Neither my dad nor his wife liked wedding cake, but each loved hot fudge sundaes; so rather than cutting wedding cake, they scooped ice cream, instead. Now, each year on their anniversary, they indulge in a huge hot fudge sundae!
At a recent client wedding we catered, the bride and groom simply could not decide on a wedding cake they both enjoyed. So they decided to have one small wedding cake to cut, and every table was presented with a different cake. There were cheese cakes, fudge cakes, traditional wedding cakes, carrot cakes, ice cream cakes – and guests were encouraged to sample the various cakes from other tables. It was a huge hit with the guests (truly, something for everyone!) and the bride and groom each ate their own favorite. No compromise required!
My sister attended a wedding last summer that celebrated the bride and groom’s love of all things Scottish. The wedding was held at an exclusive country club with a circular drive with a grassy median in the center. As guests arrived, they were greeted by a bag piper in full regalia, playing traditional Scottish music in the median of the driveway. The bag piper continued playing outside until all guests were seated for the ceremony. At the end of the ceremony, as the bride and groom walked down the aisle, the bag piper played “Scotland the Brave,” instead of the traditional Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March. “
Perhaps, though, one of the most touching wedding moments was at my friend, Susan’s, wedding. When Susan was nine, her grandmother took a trip to her native Mexico. Prior to her departure, she asked Susan what she wanted from Mexico. Susan was getting her ears pierced for her 9th birthday, so she asked her grandmother to bring her “a fancy pair of earrings.” Unfortunately, Susan’s grandmother was never able to personally give Susan the earrings she purchased in Mexico. Tragically, Susan’s grandmother was killed in a terrible car accident during her trip. When her grandmother’s belongings were eventually recovered from the car, there was a tiny bag that contained an exquisite pair of pearl earrings. The earrings were given to Susan, as her family knew they were the “fancy earrings” her grandmother was bringing home especially for her. But Susan never wore the earrings. She saved them for nearly 20 years in a secret place in her jewelry box. Then, on the morning of her wedding, with tears in her eyes, Susan took the earrings from their secret place, and slipped them into her ears. She has never worn those earrings since; but she plans to give them to her own daughter on her wedding day.
Happily Ever After
Creating buzz does matter. Sometimes it is in very public ways like a bag piper or hot fudge sundaes; and sometimes it is in private ways like “fancy earrings,” or a replicated bouquet. What really matters is that you and your beloved allow the rest of us to see, if only for a moment, what truly matters most to you. And when you share those pieces of yourself with us on that magical day, we will surely be buzzing about it for years to come.
About the Author
Susan “Fabulous” Panzica is the Principal of fabulous fare (formerly Fabulous Frozens), a fancy food & beverage company that provides chocolate fountains, espresso/cappuccino service and frozen drinks for special events. “We help create the buzz that matters,” says Susan, “by providing specialty items that are truly exceptional and unique.” fabulous fare (Fabulous Frozens) has received accolades from both the Princeton Business Journal as well as from the Town Topics, as the “go to” company for fabulous parties. Ms. “Fabulous” resides in Princeton with her husband, John, their sons Evan and Leo and their two dogs, Louis and Lola.
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